Kellogg’s Tiger Power, the Healthier Cereal? No Thank You!

Breakfast Cereal is the food of the gods. Little known fact, Norse deities would cast down judgment from on high while eating a heaping bowl of Lucky Charms.

Why breakfast cereal? The crunch? The fact it STAYS crunchy in milk? The cool colors it turns the milk? No! No! No! It’s the sugar! The wonderful sugar!

Sadly, America has become more health conscious and we cereal eaters must look towards a new future. A future where sugar is a four-letter word (suga?) and cereal tastes like Tiger Power!

I buy a lot of cereal, and I mean a lot, and nothing makes my heart race more than passing an end cap at the supermarket and seeing a new brand of cereal. So this week I jumped for joy when I not only saw two new cereals, but both were spin-offs of old favorites. New Fruity Pebbles with even more marshmallows. Oh, Man!! And Tiger Power, a new Cereal from my main man/tiger Tony. I grabbed them both without blinking and ran home, skipping gaily all the way.

I put away the Fruity Pebbles. I have had them before with marshmallows, and this box only promises more of the same. So I greedily ripped open the Tiger Power, barely glancing at the box. The nuggets look brown and it kind of smells like Honey Nut Cheerios. Upon further inspection of it, I realized that this is one of those new “healthy” cereals. A lightly sweetened whole grain, keep you regular sort of thing.

Oh well, it’s Tony the Tiger, they have to hide the white gold somewhere in these paw shaped nuggets. Without hesitation, I poured my self a heaping bowl. It looks nice. It has a pleasant, slightly sweet smell.

And… It’s ok.

No joyful sugar rush. Sure, it doesn’t get soggy, but the leftover milk at the bottom of the bowl tastes like … gasp … milk.

I felt dejected, but I have been let down by so many products before. Why is this cereal disappointing me so much? I think I know why. Because for the last couple of decades all I have been shoveling down my gullet is sugar pellets soaked in whole milk, and NOW Kellogg’s decides to switch to a healthier cereal when the boat has already sailed for me!

Am I supposed to find this cereal enjoyable when I am used to eating cereal with at least 3x the amount of sugar?

Of course, Kellogg is not at fault. It’s my own fault for having an addictive personality and a sugar fetish. But still, look at this box:

This is the future and wow is that kid really skinny and healthy looking. I guess things are changing in the cereal world.

I am not sure it this product is going to find a home in the world. Tony is associated with Frosted Flakes, and I am not sure parents are going to see this and jump to it being a healthier alternative after seeing him on the box.

Maybe the ad campaign for it will help?