How Walt Disney World’s “If You Had Wings” Traumatized my Nana
If You Had Wings opened at Walt Disney World on June 5, 1972, and ran in Tomorrowland under that name until June 1, 1987. Sponsored by Eastern Air Lines, it was a travel themed dark ride that carried guests through scenes based on places the airline served. It used Disney’s Omnimover system, with small cars moving continuously through the attraction, and the ride itself was a mix of music, projected film, simple sets, and a kind of cheerful travel agency optimism. You passed through scenes of Mexico, Bermuda, Puerto Rico, the Bahamas, Jamaica, Trinidad, and New Orleans, all while that song kept reminding you that if you had wings, you could do all of this too.
It was also a strange fit for Tomorrowland, but in a way that made perfect sense for the era. It was not about rockets or robots or the distant future. It was about the future as a plane ticket, the idea that modern air travel could make the world feel smaller, brighter, and more available. By the 1980s, though, it usually did not have much of a line, which made it one of my favorite stops whenever my family visited Disney World.
On one trip, I somehow talked my grandmother into riding it with me, even though she had already gone on it earlier that day. We made it through most of the attraction before the ride suddenly stopped. The cars stopped moving, but the music did not. It kept playing, over and over, while we sat there for about forty minutes.
I loved it. I looked around, took in every detail I could, and sang along with the song. My grandmother did not share my enthusiasm. By the time the ride finally started moving again and we reached the exit, she was more than ready to be done with If You Had Wings. She headed straight for a bench, sat down, and lit a cigarette. My mother gave her a look, then gave me one too. “Nana needs her space,” she said, which was my cue to find something else to do.
The ride followed us all the way back to New Jersey. My grandmother had flown down to meet us, so she rode home in the back seat with me. Every so often, I would start singing, “If you had wings, had wings, had wings,” and every time I did, she seemed to reach for her cigarettes a little faster. Looking back, I think that ride may have done real damage. The next year, when we went back to Disney World, she refused to go anywhere near it.
If you want to spend a little more time with If You Had Wings, this tribute video is worth watching. It covers the attraction’s history and includes a virtual ride through, which is about as close as most of us can get to riding it again.