Glow in the Dark Suckerman takes a Lickin’ and that Disgusted my Sisters

Oh, Suckerman! What a tremendous garage sale find you were. They wanted 75 cents and I offered a quarter and they took it! I took you home and immediately tried sticking you to stuff. You stayed attached for a few seconds and then would fall to the floor, then my friend had a novel suggestion. If you want Suckerman to stick, you need to lick the suckers. So that is exactly what I did and guess what, it worked!

So I started sticking you everywhere. Then my sister walked in while I was licking your suction cups and yanked you from my hands. I didn’t understand why. She then began to point out the dirt and dog hair that was on your suckers and to explain how germs and junk will make me sick. I was both revolted and fascinated.

This is the farthest I can trace back my germaphobia and it was a sad day for you, Suckerman. You never stuck quite as well without the secret ingredient of saliva and you eventually made your way to the bottom of the toy box, only to be removed when I needed a random tentacled monster. Still that brief time before I realized you were giving me all those sore throats was great and I will always remember you fondly.