The Giant Toys R Us Robot knows how to Sell Lazer Tag

Why do companies invest so much money in buttery-voiced spokespeople who try to lure us in with their melodious voices when a monotone robot is scientifically proven to be 6 times more effective? Maybe they were sold on the human voices by robots? It is a lingering mystery. Whatever the reason, I am glad, because I cannot resist a robot doing a sales pitch. This was especially an issue in the golden age of commercial robots, the 1980s. I have seen a few great robots over the years, but this Giant Toys R Us Robot is perfect for this time of year and has a lot going for it.

Firstly, it is gigantic. That means if it was my friend, it could defend me from bullies. Second, it kind of looks like ROB from the Nintendo Entertainment System. Third and maybe most importantly, it is selling Lazer Tag! Not that Lazer Tag needs help being sold. Those things sold themselves.

Watch the Giant Toys R Us Robot in action

For those of you familiar with the podcast that I do, you might notice that my voice sometimes seems rather robotic. This is me trying to emulate my heroes, the robots, and does not reflect on my natural lack of charisma and/or magnetism (also a possible robot quality).

I also do not physically resemble the Giant Toys R Us Robot. Although after the series of surgeries I have planned, that might change.