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Do you Remember Keebler Pizzarias?
Oh, the memories of lost snack foods continue to haunt me. This week, I find myself lamenting the all-too-short life of the Keebler Pizzaria. Those little triangular snack chips were a marvel - picture a super crunchy Dorito, coated in a delicious spicy pizza flavor. Countless Friday nights were spent in my room, playing computer games with my radio playing old-time radio programs in the background, all while crunching on Pizzarias.
I was convinced our chip-lationship would last forever. Alas, I was wrong.
One summer, I went to live with my sister after she had moved away. When I returned home and headed to the Acme to pick up my favorite bag of Pizzarias and a 3-liter bottle of Coke, to my utter dismay, the Pizzarias were gone. They had vanished after just a little over 4 years.
Released by Keebler in 1991, Pizzarias were the first national-brand snack chip made from real pizza dough. This wasn't just your typical pizza-flavored potato or corn chip; it was pizza in a crunchy snack form. Keebler did their homework and researched pizza dough recipes all the way back to the Renaissance before landing on the mouthwatering recipes they released. That level of care truly showed.
Since their disappearance, I've tried the other "modern" pizza-flavored chips, but none come close to the Pizzarias. Doritos may have the right shape and a decent crunch, but the flavor is nowhere near the real deal. TGI Fridays has a chip with a good pizza flavor, but it lacks the perfect amount of crunch and the delightful pizza slice shape. The closest replacement I've found were French’s Pizza Party Sticks from 2002, but even those aren't quite the same.
It's baffling how I can go to the supermarket every week and find new novelty flavor chips on the shelf, but the things I truly crave seem to be forever out of reach.
Come on, Keebler! It's time for a chip renaissance. Bring back your Tato Skins! Bring back your Pizzarias! Bring all the chips back and then put them all in my mouth.