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Confessions of an Elementary School Gum Peddler
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Confessions of an Elementary School Gum Peddler

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Retroist
Aug 15, 2013
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Confessions of an Elementary School Gum Peddler
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Step into the scene of my elementary school days, where the gum trade was surprisingly booming. Among the various gum brands, Bubble Yum took the crown as the cash cow. How do I have the inside scoop? Well, because I was a bit of an undercover gum merchant myself. I dealt Bazooka gum at the reasonable price of ten cents each, and let me tell you, I made out like a bandit. There were days when I'd rake in a solid two bucks – not too shabby for a kid.

Now, as impressive as my earnings were, they paled in comparison to those Bubble Yum hustlers. A fresh piece of Bananaberry Split flavor could fetch a whopping 25 cents. Every now and then, I'd consider entering the big leagues, but the thought of investing in those pricier packs of gum and the ever-present risk of getting busted with the higher-end merchandise put a dampener on those dreams.

My existence at that time was essentially a tightrope act of constant anxiety, yet strangely, I felt no remorse. If anything, my gum-selling escapades taught me some crucial lessons about the world of capitalism and the art of exercising restraint when it came to chewing gum. Because, you see, every 2.5 pieces of gum I devoured meant one less video game session I could indulge in after school with my hard-earned profits. So, needless to say, impulsive gum-chewing was a major "no-no."

Did I ever let my mind wander towards grander aspirations? Well, yeah, there were times when I envisioned myself dealing in the upscale gum market or maybe even venturing into the candy bar business. But deep down, I knew that world wasn't my scene. I was content with my small-time gig, even though that didn't deter me from dreaming big, in my own little way.


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