In 1985, when GI Joe-mania still had a young America in its clutches, Ralston Purina released GI Joe Action Stars Cereal. It was pretty tasty, but I found its jagged shape did more damage to the roof of my mouth than Cap’n Crunch. You would think that would stop me from pressuring my Mom to buy me it, but of course, it did not. No pain! No Gain! And I wanted nothing more than to spend my afternoons watching GI Joe, playing with GI Joe, and eating GI Joe. I know that sounds weird, but it is too true to change.