Optimus Prime - Steampunk - Brian Kesinger

Brian Kesinger’s Steampunk Transformers Are More Than Meets The Monocle!

Okay. First of all I want to give full credit to Brian Kesinger over at We Love Fine.Com for coming up with that exceptional twist on the old Transformers “More than meets the Eye” catchphrase in regards to his Steampunk Transformers T-Shirt designs.

While the dapper and heroic looking Optimus Prime would be reason enough to share these T-Shirts with you…it’s his take on the Decepticon Soundwave that really takes me breath away. Check out how his familiar alt mode of a tape deck has been deliciously bent to the Steampunk aesthetics of a player piano. Brilliant!

All images courtesy of Brian Kesinger.

All images courtesy of Brian Kesinger.

So if you like a little Steampunk in your Transformers universe…and why would you not…pick up Brian’s T-Shirts by following the link here.

“Coach Fare! Transfigure and briskly jaunt away!”

New Mutants - Superhero Pop

This Fan-Made “New Mutants” Music Video By Superhero Pop Is Amazing!

I’ve talked before about my love of the Marvel Comics New Mutants series of my youth, thanks to the last Super-Blog Team Up! Or is that how traumatizing that series could be?

New Mutants #60

Anyway, the other day Daniel XIII was kind enough to share with me this fan-made music video featuring not only the original roster of New Mutant characters but that hard rocking Mutant, Lila Cheney!

Lila Cheney - Marvel Handbook

Lila Cheney - Superhero Pop

This music video by Superhero Pop does a fantastic job of capturing the feel of those early New Mutants comics, especially when they show off Lila’s Mutant interstellar teleportation ability as well as her object of affection, in this case Sam Gutherie’s (Cannonball) “Blastin'” powers!

Cannonball - New Mutants - Superhero Pop

Now Lila is not up on stage by her lonesome in this music video, heck no, besides her bandmates she is being backed up by the one and only Alison Blaire aka Dazzler! Who I am not ashamed to admit that I had a wicked crush on in my youth…well…not too ashamed to admit that. Ahem.

Dazzler - Marvel Handbook

Dazzler - Superhero Pop

So take a break, crank up the volume and enjoy Lila Cheney’s “I Will Steal Your Heart!”

[Via] Greasy Pig Studios

I really hope that Superhero Pop will keep cranking these out…maybe even release the songs to iTunes?

Until then you can also check out “The Sight of the Sound” featuring Dazzler, also by Superhero Pop!

[Via] Greasy Pig Studios

Meissen Porcelain Monkey Band

Check Out This 1765 Porcelain Meissen Monkey Band!

While this post might be better suited for a Monkey Monday my excitement over stumbling upon these very pricey collectibles meant I just couldn’t wait! That beautiful image of what certainly appears to be a chimp conductor is one piece from a set on display in this video from the Collection of the Art Institute of Chicago

Meissen Porcelain Monkey Band 2

Some of these pieces are apparently available on the likes of ebay with a singular figurine fetching up to $3,000 a piece and one seller offering a 21 piece set for a staggering $32,000.

Meissen Porcelain Monkey Band 3

The Meissen Porcelain Manufactory appears to be manufacturing this band even today, which might be good news for all of us simian collectors but those are the figurines fetching $2,000 to $3,000. The Rhode Island School of Design Museum page goes into great detail, such as these were primarily designed for a French audience and that this style of Monkeys engaging in human activity and wearing human clothing was called singeries.

The RISD Museum even went so far as to point out that the sheet music used on a figurines stand was not only playable but was Johann Adolph Hasse’s Lucio Papirio Dittatore, and if you hop on over to their page you can listen to a short SoundCloud clip.

Now in all honesty I’m a sucker for most anything related to primates…the fact that these happen to be having a joyous time making music…well, they just call to me. Granted I haven’t hit the lottery yet the last time I checked so any hope of adding these porcelain beauties to a curio cabinet in my home are nonexistent.

Meissen Porcelain Monkey Band 4

I can however take comfort in that I am able to watch Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution for free!

[Via] Lancelot Link 1970

All though to be 100% honest with you…my desire for these historic figurines is such that I feel like I should possibly take a road trip and visit that Needful Things curio shop at the edge of town…what could be the harm in looking, right?

Montgomery Ward - Loss Prevention

Let’s All Work Together (And Be A Profit Partner!)

Ah, the department store training video – there’s nothing quite like it.

The only thing better than a department store training video? A department store training video from a store that doesn’t even exist anymore! Even better than that? Department store training videos from the 1980s and 1990s.

You know the type of videos – shot on location in a store in an area people aren’t familiar with, bad acting, goofy clothes, actual employees, your host “The Loss Prevention Guy,” and some person told to steal something for the sake of teaching employees how to handle possible theft. Basically, store employees who want their fifteen minutes of fame to be a thing.

Put that back!

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In the 1990s, Chicago, Illinois-based retailer Montgomery Ward was still a thing, and in 1997, produced a training video to combat theft in their stores. This film, Let’s All Work Together, teaches new employees how to prevent loss, act badly, and wear funky sideburns. But primarily, it teaches new employees how to prevent inventory loss through theft.

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And funky sideburns. Don’t forget funky sideburns!

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This is Andy (“Hi Andy!”), and he works in Loss Prevention for Montgomery Ward.

And as this video begins, he is helping apprehend a man who allegedly paid for a cordless phone, but is hiding it under his shirt so his daughter doesn’t see it…since the phone is supposedly for her. Yeah yeah, likely story, sir.

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It’s such a tense situation, but Andy gives us the stark reality of the consequences of shoplifting at Montgomery Ward stores – the cost is in the millions!

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Andy informs the ill-informed associate, Jeff (aka Funky Sideburns), of the cost of shoplifting, and that there is more to being a Loss Prevention and Safety Specialist than just apprehending shoplifters – they are also responsible for maintaining the safety of customers and associates. But Jeff doesn’t care, and just say he was joking around. Yeah yeah, Jeff. Take your sideburns and suspenders and do your job, mmkay?
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Andy is then spotted by Jennifer, an associate who (bad acting alert) wants to discuss the concerns she has regarding her department and one of its employees. Of course, this is not before Andy thanks her (and Unseen Associate Joey) for filling in at bowling last week. The banter in these segments is eye-poking-out inducing, but makes the entertainment value of these otherwise unwatchable training videos increase. Jennifer decides she would rather speak with Andy in confidentiality during her break at 3:30.

He agrees to a meeting with her.

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And then there’s New Manager Sarah, whose employee Liz needs to be reminded (for the second time in several days), to never leave a cabinet unlocked, not even for a few minutes. She reminds Liz of the matter of seconds it takes for someone to steal from that cabinet. As Andy explains to us, Sarah’s department is beset with inventory control issues. And like a great Loss Prevention and Safety Specialist that he is, he’s looked into the issues plaguing Sarah’s department. It turns out that an unaccounted-for pair of camcorders was not noted properly on the inventory manifest by an employee. Oh, and Unseen Horrible Employee Ken rang three pre-recorded video cassettes up, but scanned one of those videos three times, rather than scan each one, and informs Sarah that she will get a register activity report the next day. Oh and the vacuum cleaner promotion her department came up short on? Apparently, receiving didn’t send up the right number, and some of the inventory was buried. Sarah’s department may be beset with 99 problems, but not all of them are her staff. Apparently, Montgomery Ward’s receiving department (or, at least, the one at her store, can’t get it together. Come on Montgomery Ward’s receiving department, let’s all work together!

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Oh, do you see what I did there?!

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Sarah is over-the-top-acting angry about her department running out of several vacuum cleaner SKUs before the promotion was halfway over, and all because of some flubs behind the scenes. Andy assures her that he is looking into this, but all Sarah is concerned about is things shaping up. She’s like the Beyonce of Montgomery Wards, and I don’t know whether to feel bad for her, or laugh at her terrible acting.
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Andy discusses the pitfalls of merchandise shortages due to error – it drives up the cost, drives away customers, and makes Montgomery Ward less profitable and competitive. They remedy these problems by making sure that security tags are attached to all clothing, and the wires that are supposed to be attached to the tags are checked regularly.

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Also being done by Montgomery Ward? Informing associates to keep sales floor areas clean and clutter-free, keeping exits cleared, and standards that protect cash and merchandise and catch dishonest customers.

Which takes us to our next training point – always check purses and luggage for hidden merchandise:

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Check tickets on merchandise, and give potential dishonest customers the benefit of a doubt. Done right? The associate offers help finding jeans of a similar style in the woman’s price range. So she’ll still get a good deal.

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And there’s the elusive short-change artists, who try to bully and confuse associates into giving them incorrect change to their advantage. Like this Overacting Bully, who is unsuccessful in his attempt to get more change back than he should.
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And then there’s till-tapping, where one person tries to create a diversion through bad acting while another shady individual tries to break into the register with his bad acting skills…and the observant employee who remembered to close the cash drawer AND pay attention. Score one redemption point for Liz, who stopped this from happening.

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So now we’re at 3:30 in the afternoon (shockingly, we didn’t get a line of dialogue where Andy says “Oh, it’s just about 3:30, let’s go meet with Jennifer!” – that’s how bad this acting is), and Jennifer is speaking with Andy regarding a customer who has been in everyday for the last month, and always waits until Rob Kovac is working.

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Last week, Jennifer watched closer, and the “customer” brought up three answering machines, yet Rob scanned only one. Jennifer watched to see if he scanned the other two, or if the customer changed his mind, but Rob only scanned one and bagged all three.

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Clever bastard.

The guy came back later and did the same thing. Loss prevention had been up on the issues in the department, and had been investigating – Jennifer reporting her concerns will make the investigation much faster. Andy then informs Jennifer that Rob will be fired for his actions, that he would like to take action on Jennifer’s report, and asks her if she is aware of the cash award. She isn’t, so Andy explains it to her.

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The cash award is through the Profit Partners Recognition Program – if an associate is able to identify employee theft that results in termination of the offending employee, the associate will receive a $250 cash award, and up to 10% of all inventory recovered. Also part of this program? Pointing out unsafe workplace conditions and paperwork issues that could result in shrinkage. The smallest award is a $10 gold medallion (a service award, according to Big Daddy Dave’s amazing Montgomery Award Memorabilia blog post), with largest being a not-to-be-scoffed at $2000. You can report your concerns to your facility manager, or Loss Prevention and Safety Manager…or call this 800 number 24/7 anonymously, from any location.

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I can’t hear you Andy, the number is shouting at me!!!

Other ways to make the company less profitable include conspiring with friends and family to return merchandise they never purchased for a refund, not charging for labor or services on vehicles (or taking care of your own vehicle without paying for it) , or just outright having someone walk merchandise out to the back of a waiting car.

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Shady, underhanded, and right out in the open – damn you Montgomery Ward thieves!

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And then there’s shoplifting, and we’re introduced to Carl, an associate who witnessed someone stealing merchandise, and while the female suspect was videotaped, she left the store without stealing anything further, and was also not apprehended. Carl is outraged by this, but Andy reassures Carl that she may not be so lucky next time, and to remain vigilant.

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Andy discusses the trademarks of shoplifters – they love unattended areas and messy displays, can look like everyone else, and come from all walks of life. Shoplifters aren’t just relegated to certain stereotypes.

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And then there’s the next lady…and the ever-observant Funky Sideburns Associate, Jeff. But he’s smart (despite his big mouth and sarcastic attitude earlier), and reports what he sees to Loss Prevention. Andy is patrolling the floor and is on the lookout, while his co-worker Karen watches the suspect on the monitor. She describes the suspect to Andy, and Andy takes Funky Sideburns Associate-Turned Witness, Jeff, with him to apprehend the woman, who insists these are her shoes…and then breaks down and says she’s never done anything like this before.

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Andy completes his report, and lets Jeff know that he will be referred to the Profit Partners. Jeff is thrilled, but concerned for the shoplifter. It turns out she has been arrested twice before for the same crime, so any decisions are now up to the courts.

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(Or after Andy changes his golf shirt)

Andy revisits Jennifer in her department to let her know the outcome of her report about her fellow associate, Rob Kovac. Almost all of the merchandise had been recovered, and Jennifer gets a nice reward for her concerns. Which means one thing, and one thing only – you can be a Montgomery Ward Snitch for Hire…and make a profit. Who knew tattling had its rewards? Usually it gets people reprimanded for being a busybody, but at Montgomery Ward, it’s all about monetary rewards!

Profit Partners!!!

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Andy recaps everything from the video, and informs us that we too can be good Montgomery Ward associates, he hopes that we will choose to make the right decisions, and Let’s All Work Together!

The video ends with the cold, hard facts of theft while we watch security camera footage of unsuspecting Montgomery Ward shoppers, who had no idea they were being filmed for a Montgomery Ward training video. Oh, and the video is dedicated to all the Loss Prevention and Safety Specialists, as well as everyone who strives to make Montgomery Ward a safer, more secure, and shoppable store.

So, all of this happened in this one Montgomery Ward location, on this one particular day. Kind of eventful for such an empty store, don’t you think?

Sadly, Montgomery Ward was in Chapter 11 Bankruptcy in 1997, and rebranded as Wards that year. By December 2000, the company announced it would cease operation, and by May 2001, all merchandise had been liquidated. Which means Andy’s discussion about the company being less profitable was probably a true story. Sales were declining throughout the 1990s, and this was the beginning of the end for Montgomery Ward. Also, I have no idea where this was filmed, but judging by the accents, likely in Chicago, where they were based.

And there you have it, the 1997 Montgomery Ward Loss Prevention training video. I hope you found it informative and entertaining, and a deterrent to not ever steal anything. Because someone like Andy and Karen (and eagle-eye comrades, Funky Sideburns Associate Jeff, Jennifer, and Carl) are all watching you.

If you’d like to see the trainwreck in progress that is Let’s All Work Together!, click the videos below. The only pain you’ll feel is the pain of embarrassment for these people, who truly believed they were the best and brightest of actors Montgomery Ward had.

[Via] Joe Enos

So heed the words of Andy, our faithful Montgomery Ward Loss Prevention and Safety Specialist – Shoplifting and all other Loss Prevention-type issues are crimes and wrong in every way possible. It makes nearly-defunct department stores less profitable, it reflects badly on associates, and it’s a crime.

Did I mention that already. Oh, and if you so choose to be a vigilant employee, you too can be a Profit Partner.
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So let’s all work together, because Montgomery Ward is on its way out, but wants to keep morale up.

Allison worked in retail at one time, but not in loss prevention. She has watched videos like this, complete with bad acting. She is the head poobah of Allison’s Written Words, and would like all of us to work together and read and subscribe. If you’d like randomness in your newsfeed, you can be a Profit Partner (aka friend and follower) and subscribe to her blog’s Facebook page, or follow her on Twitter @AllisonGeeksOut. She won’t follow you away from this site (nor pay you for your visit), because Allison knows that the only thing you’re stealing is a good laugh at the stuff she finds in the veritable department store known as the interwebs.

Allison has never shopped at Montgomery Ward. She just likes their training video.

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(It’s no wonder that Montgomery Ward’s had such a shady clientele…they had Robert Hoover from Animal House as a spokesman. So this is what he got up to after the incident at Faber College!)

Sesame Street - Billy Joel - Marlee Matlin

Billy Joel And Marlee Matlin Join Oscar The Grouch On This 1988 Sesame Street Clip

The other day one of my best friends happened to post this wonderful 1988 clip from Sesame Street on Facebook featuring the talented Billy Joel and Marlee Matlin arriving at Sesame Street with a special gift for Oscar the Grouch (Caroll Spinney).

But there is a catch. You see Joel and Matlin happen to be “Grouch Groupies” and when Billy finds himself with a worn out piano the two give it as a gift to a grouch and in this case it’s Oscar’s turn! Matlin and Joel also sing…a Grouch version…of Joel’s 1977 hit “Just the Way You Are”!

[Via] Sesame Street

I’m pretty sure that will put a big smile on your face this morning!

Voltron Logo - DreamWorks - Netflix

VOLTRON: Legendary Defender To Be A Netflix Exclusive

Big news for all of us fans of the 1984 Voltron: Defender of the Universe animated series…as well as the toys, and comic books, etc. It seems that Netflix just announced yesterday afternoon that they were releasing the DreamWorks reboot of the classic animated series as an exclusive to their online library.


Original Voltron Intro:

[Via] Cartoon Intro

As for more information than that…including the release date and other facts the press release only states:
“Featuring a mix of action, comedy and an epic storyline spearheaded by yet-to-be-announced veteran animation talent & longtime Voltron fans, the new series will delight audiences old and new.”

We will naturally keep you up to date with any further announcements, so until then…

“Form Blazing Sword!”

Pac Man - Pop! Funko

Pop! Funko Releases Pac-Man Collectibles This March!

Not being satisfied with obtaining literally some of the most popular franchises known to fans of film, television, comic books, anime, and even music…Pop! Funko has decided to set their sights on the likes of classic gaming!

This March they are releasing everyone’s favorite Power Pellet gulping arcade icon, Pac-Man…as well as a few of his foes and friends!

Ms. Pac-Man

All images courtesy of Pop! Funko.

All images courtesy of Pop! Funko.

Inky - Pop! Funko

Pinky - Pop! Funko

Clyde - Pop! Funko

Blinky - Pop! Funko

And a Blue Ghost. Naturally.
Blue Ghost - Pop! Funko

For more info on the latest releases pop culture releases by Funko make sure to hop on over and visit their Official Blog! No word yet on what other classic arcade icons they might be tackling next but I can’t help but wonder if we might not be seeing a Pop! Funko line of Pac-Man characters from the animated series?

“Run, Pac-Man, Run!”