Die-Hard is a Christmas Movie

Die-Hard is a Christmas Movie

I would like to introduce you to John McClane. John is down on his luck lately. A grumpy curmudgeon, who refuses to apologize. This has driven a wedge between himself and his wife, Holly (could they have chosen a more Christmasy name). Desperate and alone, John travels to California in hopes of a miraculous reconciliation with Holly.

When he get there, things are weird. And not just because this is California. John hoped that Holly would be doing poorly, but instead she is thriving. To make this things worse, Holly has even started using her maiden name.

John cannot deal with this. Even when she offers an olive branch, he isn’t capable of grasping it and they fight. It looks like John is going to be alone for Christmas. But wait…

It’s Christmas, Theo, it’s the time of miracles

John wants nothing more than to be seen as relevant by his succesful spouse and for all of this California-based madness to just go away. Something Argyle quickly surmises on the limo ride to Nakatomi Plaza.

You mean you thought she wouldn’t make it out here and she’d come crawling on back, so why bother to pack?

Just when things are at their darkest for John, his Christmas wish comes true.

An office Christmas party turns from a triumph for his wife, into a stage for John to demonstrate his excellence. He does this despite overwhelming odds. Cheating death again and again, as if guided by some magical force.

In the end, Nakatomi’s Los Angeles headquarters lies in ruin, Holly starts using his last name again. Heck, her shedding the gold watch the company gave her for all her hard work is what allows her to live!

It’s a fiery mess of a day. Yet, somehow it is a happy ending.

This is the story of John McClane, a sad lonely man, who had one wish for Christmas. To get his wife back on his own terms and he did. In the most improbable way possible.

Hans was right, Christmas is a time of miracles. Just not for him.

The Retroist

The Retroist is like a BBQ on a bun without the bones. You're only human daddy. Chomp!

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. No. Just…no. Die Hard is NOT a christmas movie. It CAN’T be. It’s not ABOUT christmas. If you take out all references to christmas, the movie would be the exact same…..except for a few lines mentioning christmas being changed to standard cheesy 80s action movie dialogue.

    If you can take out christmas from a movie, and the movie doesn’t change….it’s not a christmas movie. John could easily be going to see his family for a birthday. The party in the movie could VERY easily be a new years party…you could even keep the decorations.

    Same with Gremlins. Christmas has very little, if any, to do with the plot of the movie. People love christmas, which is the only reason the movie was set at Christmas. It could have been set at any time with very little difference to the movie.

    Take christmas out of Home Alone, and the movie falls apart. The entire movie was centered around christmas.

  2. I respect your opinion. I just enjoy the idea that buried in the film is a story of a violent christmas miracle.

    I do agree with you Gremlins is not a Christmas movie. I can’t even stretch to make that one.

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