Did you call the Corey Haim Hotline?

The eighties and nineties were a golden age for dial-in hotlines. Starting with 976 numbers and rolling into 1-900 numbers, the nations appetite for canned recordings could not be abated. I myself was a fan of these type of numbers. Calling them more than I would like to admit.

Having lived through these decades, and having watching a lot of television, I thought I knew of every one of the more mainstream numbers you could call. But as I find almost every month on YouTube and in old magazines, my calling of Santa Claus, Howard the Duck, and Freddy Krueger was just a small portion of who I could have reached.

This week I stumbled upon wonderful commercial for the Corey Haim Hotline. Fan of Haim? Just dial 1-900-909-3300 and for just $2 the first minute and 45 cents each additional minute, you could hear all the inside dope on Corey. Which from this commercial seems to rotate primarily around his kissing ability. Which, surprise, is pretty amazing.

I know these commercials were targeted at teenagers, with teen matinee idol magazine fantasies, but it would have been much enjoyable to have some more general questions for Corey. Like which is his favorite Transformer? Does he need a new best friend? Could he be friends with a person who pours their milk into their cereal bowl first or does he think it is weird?

You know hard-hitting questions.

Instead we get Haim, charming and befuddled, describing the official “feedback” he has received on his kissing. Which as I mentioned, was positive

Corey Haim Hotline Commercial

I just want to add, could they have spent less money on this commercial?

Corey Haim Commercial Checklist

  • Stock photo of a Corey, mouth-agape?
  • Check!

  • Prop magazine?
  • Check!

  • Dark room with X-files lightning?
  • Check!

  • Conrete room with slight echo?
  • Check!

  • Cordless and standard phone
  • Check!

  • An either very comfortable or way too uncomfortable chair?
  • Check!

  • Camera about 2 feet from Corey’s face?
  • Check!

Okay roll the camera…and…action!

Of course, when you have one Corey, another one is bound to show up. So as a companion hotline to Corey Haim Hotline they also had a completely different Coreys Hotline. Notice the wonderful re-use of footage from the Corey Haim Hotline commercial? That’s smart production work.

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The Retroist

Editor/Podcaster at Retroist
The Retroist is like a BBQ on a bun without the bones. You're only human daddy. Chomp!
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