From the now-defunct video store chain that brought you Buster Sales, comes an obviously intentional parody of two now-deceased film critics. The store? Blockbuster Video. The film critics? Siskel and Ebert…well, no. Not them. They wouldn’t train Blockbuster new hires. Besides, too costly. Filling in to do something less dignifying, Driscoll and Egbert!
Driscoll and Egbert: Yes You Read That Correctly!
Betcha thought I said Siskel and Ebert, didn’t you?
Nope. I did not.
In 1989, one year before “Blockbuster University” strove to create “Professional Opportunists” through Buster Sales’ training methods, Blockbuster Video created three learning opportunities through the use of fake movie clips and their own versions of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert.
I don’t think Siskel and Ebert ever had this life problem…
Prepare to constantly mutter “Oh dear God.”
About those movies…
Beaverton Hills Cop IV
Circa 1989 Eddie Murphy should have lawyered over this. An obvious take on the Beverly Hills Cop movies (the first two were released in 1984 and 1987), “Eddie Mumford” is out to stop an illegal cartel from smuggling…Colombian Coffee into North Dakota.
Oh Good lord.
When one of the baddies gets away, Not Axel Foley chases him to a Blockbuster Video.
The baddie, played by “Leo Ross,” is sneaking around the store, aided in his attempt to go incognito by employee Roxanne, who helps him pick out Marlon Brando movies.
Yes, this is terrible! It is everything you imagine, yet try to block out!
There’s also this…thing!
We’re just getting started! Next up on Driscoll and Egbert…
Foreign and Black and White. A romance between two star-crossed lovers, searching for each other only to emigrate to the United States (on the same plane!), and find themselves in a Blockbuster Video.
Will the lovers meet? Will the protagonist find his happy ending? Does good customer service exist in this alleged teaching point?
The end is in sight, tortured Blockbuster new hires!
How about a tale of forbidden (because of age difference) romance, youth, recommendations of Humphrey Bogart movies to said youth, and the policy on renting movies to children?
Blockbuster has this training point too!
In this “coming of age” “film,” Josh Sanders has been renting recommendations of classic films by Blockbuster employee, Beth. Josh has the hots for Beth, and mostly because she has never steered him in the wrong direction movie-wise.
Josh’s friend, Alfred, happens to be at the video store on that particular day. He aspires to rent a “17 Plus” movie by wearing his Jason Voorhees mask to pass as his brother.Will it work? What about Josh and Beth? Will their romance bloom? Does this sound like an educational short on stranger danger?
What will Driscoll and Egbert think of these “training points”?
You’re just going to have to watch the videos, aren’t you?
Driscoll and Egbert
Thanks to DJameyson (the same person responsible for the “Buster Sales” training video), this feat of training point perfection is available for your viewing pleasure. At around fifteen minutes long, it is not as painful a watch as training videos go. It is good for a laugh (hey, we’re not new hires, we don’t need to take it seriously!), and accomplishes its point…to teach employees good customer service skills. Sure, the lessons are buried in cheese (not the flavored popcorn), but as I said, we don’t have to take it seriously. And the guys playing the Siskel and Ebert roles are actually having fun with their roles – they’re quite good without taking themselves too seriously.
See for yourself! Click on the first video to get started with your Blockbuster training!
Uploads via DJameyson
Oh yeah, for the uninformed, the balcony is still upstairs.
I can’t take credit for that cheesy line!
No, seriously, I didn’t make it up!
She can be found at allisonveneziowrites.com.You can follow her blog on Facebook (facebook.com/allisonswrittenwords) and on Twitter @AllisonGeeksOut.