There she is, your quarry. You have hunted her from one side of the house to the other. Creeping along silently, waiting for the perfect moment to pull the trigger on your toy gun. The problem is, you sister is much larger than you. She can move more quickly and if she catches you, she will lay a sibling beating on you like you have never seen. Not only will noogies be doled out liberally, but your trusty weapon will most likely be captured in the ensuing one-sided melee. How do you buy enough time to escape her wicked clutches? You could attempt to shoot from a distance or from cover, but from a distance, she won’t feel the soft spongy ball hitting her and shooting around the corner reduces accuracy. So what do you do hotshot?
You pick up a Kenner’s Gun that Shoots Around the Corner. No longer are you a slave to lines of fire that would lead you to take dangerous chances. Now you can take the shot and in the moment of confusion, make a break for the safety of her closet, where you will hide behind that giant stuffed dog she won at the Carnival five years ago. It is a brilliant hiding place and the last place she will ever look. Just try not to giggle when she is standing around all confused as to where you went.
Remember, you are a little brother – a demon’s whisper in the dark. You were born for this work and thanks to Kenner’s Gun that Shoots Around the Corner, you are the best.
Latest posts by The Retroist (see all)
- Did you call the Corey Haim Hotline? - December 4, 2018
- How to take a photograph of your on-screen High Score - November 20, 2018
- Retroist Hunt the Wumpus Podcast - November 14, 2018