SCARIOS! The Real Creepy Pasta

As a little monster living in a home along Western New York’s Niagara River, we picked up a lot of Canadian television. CHCH 11, CBLT 5, CFTO 9 and so on. Their programming was quite different from ours at the time and their commercials were equally diverse.

I want to spotlight one of the pitched products known as SCARIOS. A canned pasta made by Heinz, with spooky shapes like a shark named SHARKY, a pumpkin named PUMPYKIN, a ghost named GHOSTIO and a moon named LOONY MOON and HATTY WITCH, a floating witch hat. At one point, there was a new pasta shape called BAD BAT.

Move over Spaghetti-o’s and Chef Boyardee, SCARIOS were the fun pasta of choice. However, they weren’t always readily available in stateside stores. If you did find them on the shelves, it was usually by accident. Oh, to be haunted and taunted by those spooky pasta shapes, in their commercials while doing my homework. Yes, I always felt that homework was done so much better with the aide of television. I have no scientific proof of this, but I “think” it worked out.

Anyway, I did actually get to enjoy this scary dish a few times and it was some good stuff! The commercials were goofy and cheesy, and I’m sure that was part of the charm. They worked on my easy to please palette- both mind and body. Heinz added another pasta (with or without meatballs) to the roster and its characters appeared with SCARIOS in the next batch of ads. MEAT (sorry, couldn’t help it) the UFO’S. Basically, Star Wars droid rip-offs with a nervous scientist. The two groups of pasta would argue which of them were scarier. Oh, it doesn’t get much goofier than that! I wasn’t into the UFO’s. I preferred the SCARIOS. I had a distinguished (yeah, right) palette.

SCARIOS (which truly deserve to be called the first “creepy pasta” ) are somewhat revered by Canadians and border town Americans today, and there is a fan base that would gladly welcome them back to their menus. I stand among them as well! I must go now, because all of this food talk has made me hungry and I might eat you!!

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