English Leather will turn you into a Half-Man/Half-Lion?

I have seen English Leather in stores, but I have never used it and for good reason. According to many ads I have seen over the years, this cologne won’t just make you smell might fine, but will also turn you into some half-lion creature from mythology. While the idea of transforming into an animal does have its upsides, I cannot find any mention of the “catch” in the fine print. Like, can I control the change? Does it wear off? Will my hair look like that all the time even when I am not in lion form? And most importantly, can I choose the animal I want to change into?

I am sure lion is nice for many people, but I never wanted to be a lion. No, I think if I had to choose something it would be a hippopotamus. I could stay in the river all day, grazing on grass and maybe the occasional pumpkin that people would toss to me. It would be quite the life.


Garry Vander Voort

Editor/Podcaster at Retroist
The Retroist is like a BBQ on a bun without the bones. You're only human daddy. Chomp!

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