Behold the awesome power of your Zenith Television Computer Brain!

Tremble before the analytical might of the Zenith System 3 you small-brained humans. It’s single chip of processing power makes all those who behold it tremble. You with your feeble flesh brains are naught but mindless slaves to the will of the System 3. Bow down before your new overlord and be grateful for “Perfect Strangers” is about to start and it is that episode where they make bibbi babka and sing that great song and you will watch it on the pinnacle of technological perfection.

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The Retroist is like a BBQ on a bun without the bones. You're only human daddy. Chomp!
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