The Last Starfighter – Where’s All My Toys!


“Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-dan Armada.”

I came real close to having that line tattooed on my arm.

As a kid, I watched ‘The Last Starfighter on a continous loop – rewinding the VCR tape as soon as the credits hit the screen. Over and Over. I couldn’t get enough. It was the perfect kid fodder. A video-gaming boy (Alex Rogan) feels he’ll never escape his trailer park home. All he can do is stand around and play the lone arcade available to him – ‘Starfighter’. Next thing Alex knows, he’s recruited as a gunner for an alien defense force. It was the perfect escape for a nerdy kid like me.

But for some strange reason there weren’t any toys available for this movie. Either that, or my mom lied to me. Grrr!

I went on a search to seek the truth. And this is what I discovered!


First up – A Last Starfighter Lunchbox! Are you kidding me? Oh if I only knew this existed back then, I would have been the most popular kid in school… Okay… but I would have been happy. Though, I’m a bit disappointed it was plastic.

Image via Last Starfighter Wiki
Image via Last Starfighter Wiki

Now this… this is what makes me go nuts like a Gung Ho Iguana. Action figures! When I stumbled upon these I nearly called my mom to get to the bottom of this. It was the top request on my list for 3 years straight, MOM! But alas, the phone call was never made, for they were just prototypes. The toy company Galoob created several of them, but ultimately the action figures were not produced.

Image via eBay
Image via eBay

But these did exist… and I never knew. A Last Starfighter Halloween mask! Oh what I would have given to go as a Hit Beast. Grigs would have been cool, but a Hit Beast was scarier. I would have run around drooling on everyone.


How about a Last Starfigher Activity Book? That would have been cool for those long boring car rides. Or even the Coloring Book.


How about some 3D View Master Reels? There’s three in a pack!

Image via Board Game Geek
Image via Board Game Geek

Or the board game? This was difficult to find. Tunnel Chase. I’m actually tempted to get this just to see how it is. Weird note – it’s for 2-25 players. 25 players?!


I would have loved to have this Star League patch sewn to my winter hat.


Or even this awesome door poster!

Maybe if this stuff was more available Grigs wouldn’t have so much trouble feeding all six thousand of his little grig-lets.

And remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range… theoretically.

Patrick (Nerd Out With Me)

It's fair to say I watched too much television as a child. Yes, I still have my Scratch & Sniff album. And yes, I still occasionally seek it out in the wee hours of the night. I also worked as a projectionist for many years... prior to the digital revolution.

When I was twelve I wrote a script called"Wembley's Revenge: The Trash Heaps Last Stand."

Maybe someday it will become a reality.

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