When we here at Cart Art (and by we I mean me) scour the internet to find you some of the best and worst in the world of video game cover art, sometimes we encounter covers so random, yet so fantastic, we grab them and save them to a special place. All of these covers are so different and odd that they will never ever fit into a regular Cart Art article. Well the time has come to share these covers and I can not stress this enough, they are 100% fantastic, all for different reason. We are also fairly certain you have not heard of any of these games (but big thumbs up to you if you had) but really, you do not need to have played these to enjoy the covers. Brace yourselves readers of the Retroist, as we delve headfirst into Crazy Cover Hodgepodge.
In the distant future, when our cities have been reduced to rubble and civilization has collapsed, only one things stands between man and the icy grip of oblivion and that is. . . a tank shaped like an Armadillo? What the heck? Not only does this ‘tank’ look more like goofy cake decoration, it is piloted by some rejects from a 1950’s science fiction serial. Why do 90% of all science fiction ground vehicles on the covers of video games have big, easy to shoot, exposed areas where the crew sits? And why the tongue? I could imagine that the big tail has something to do with the tank’s futuristic drive system and that the eyes are part of it’s super advanced sensor system but the tongue? It’s an Armadillo, not a freakin’ ant eater. Can not wait for the sequel game: Armourdillo 2: Rise of the Aadvark-a-tank.
File this one under the one of the following two categories:
1. If you where not afraid of clowns before, you are now.
2. If you are already afraid of clown, good luck ever sleeping again after looking at this cover.
Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Yeah, that’s right, the band behind the lyric “Relax, don’t do it,” have their own video game. If you are ever going to have yourself on the cover of a video game, insist on using an actual photograph because thanks to the hand drawing, every single one of the band members ends up looking like that creepy uncle whose house you where never allowed to sleep over at. . . ever. I have not played the game nor am I really into Frankie Goes to Hollywood so I am sure there is a reason for the lead singer to be holding a giant remote control, other then to prove he is a massive RC plane enthusiast of course. Speaking of playing the game, take a break from this article and go read one Wikipedia on this game, especially the game play. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Good, bet you are now very elated you never ever played this game.
Wow! There is not way this game is as good as the cover makes it out to be. Jet Ski chases, parashooting down onto a submarine, underwater frogman knife fights, wresting an octopus for goodness sakes. That is some super awesome action! The guy is stabbing a shark with a knife! Now, I am wondering why the artist decided that the giant version of the main character needs to get shot near very private area by another scuba guy with lasers. . . wait, do lasers even work under water like that? Does it really matter? No, not one bit. If the game is just 1/10th as action packed as the cover, it would be the best game in the world, not some game you have never heard of until now. I know for sure if I ever saw this cover in the game store, I would have gladly robbed my grandmother blind or sold some internal organs to get the cash to buy this game. Oh and by the way, we have not reached the most awesome cover on the list yet.
Revenge of the Mutant Camels
This cover reminds me of one of those picture seek puzzles where they ask you to find something like a baseball bat in the picture and it is hidden against a fence post. So here, try the find the following insane things:
* A green Pac-Man
* A peace symbol sun
* A camel on skis
* A fleeing teapot
* A devil chasing a human with a lighter
* A wind surfing camel
* Sheep that look like they have run over but somehow are still standing.
Skate Board Joust
What did that monkey with spider web armpits do to you? Come on now stereotype of 1980’s extreme fun seeking teen youth, there is no reason to ram your rocket powered ‘death’ board into that poor arachno-simian. Is it me or does it seem that the three main things on the cover, the guy, the skateboard and the monkey all seem like they were not made for this cover? Like three random clip art images slammed together to make a cover. Enjoy those pink lines on black background? Feel like I am looking at a shirt from a Chess King store.
This is the single best cover I have found to date. Simply, it is a ninja, riding a motorcycle, wielding a katanna, fighting off panthers, while driving away from a giant explosion. I do not really need to say any more. Just let the awesomeness wash over you, like a cooling wave of fantastic-ness.
Normally I take this paragraph to tell a few very terrible jokes and sign off. This time, I would simply just like to thank all you cover loving fans out there for your comments on the website and your eyes on the articles. If you folks are not there to read it, I’m just a crazy internet dude writing to no one in particular. I do hope you enjoy these articles and I do thank you for all the reads. Until next time, good luck and happy cart-arting.