It’s Dr. Loomis vs. Grand Moff Tarkin in Land of the Minotaur (1976)

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It’s Dr. Loomis vs. Grand Moff Tarkin in a battle between the church and a minotaur cult in 1970s Greece. That info alone was enough to make me rent this movie. I had seen that some people didn’t like this film on Netflix, but I figured, how bad can it be? Pretty bad actually. Just to fill you in on the plot, which might be hard to figure out even after repeated viewings.

A cult of people in Greece worship the Minotaur. They grab young folks and sacrifice them to a giant stone fire breathing statue. Why? Who knows. They are a spooky cult and that should be enough. Sadly the narrative is so disjointed it isn’t. Even throwing in Peter Cushing as a Carpathian (like the Vigo from Ghostbusters II) Baron Corofax, doesn’t push this film anywhere. If anything it makes it more convoluted. Why the heck does he have an English accent?

Bravo, Kostas Karagiannis! Way to waste both Donald Pleasence and Peter Cushing, two of my favorite actors. They are completely wasted in this stinking mess of a film. Did you try to motivate them? Did you give them any direction?

I am not sure even how to explain the plot. Pleasence plays a priest who lives in a different country, but is concerned with whats going on with this cult (for some reason). Then he hires a private eye – from New York?? Together they try to put an end to the menacing cult of colorfully clad KKK wannabes.

In the end its religion that saves the day and turns the cultists into bloody exploding piles of M-80s. Which is cool, in a cheesy sort of way, but no amount of explosive blood bags nor gratuitous nudity (human or minotaur) can make this painful pill of a movie easier to swallow. Still, it is fun to watch the hooded people blow up in the same way its fun to watch the faces melt at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

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Did I mention they sacrificed people with butter knives?
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I am so fatigued. I need a nap. I wish I had watched Ghsotbuster II instead.

He is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!

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Garry Vander Voort

Editor/Podcaster at Retroist
The Retroist is like a BBQ on a bun without the bones. You're only human daddy. Chomp!
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