Saturday Frights: U.F.O. Kidnapped (1983)


Welcome to the Retroist Vault fiendish ones! I trust that Doug McCoy has filled your belly with delights from a thousand dimensions of epicurean sensation (and I trust you avoided those Nuclear Nachos unless you actually want to experience a thousand dimensions of intestinal discomfort), and that Phisbon3s has provided you with your pass to sail upon the River Styx of cinematic cruelty. Now, allow that denizen of doggy darkness Claymation Werewolf to show you to your coffin…err seat.

Now that you are comfortable, and restrained, we will begin tonight’s midnight creep show after a quick quandary! Have you ever wondered what would happen if You Can’t Do That on Television was less middle school SNL and more Sid and Marty Kroft? Well too bad, you’re going to find out anyway! On behalf of our beloved boss, that great validator of all paychecks here at the vault, Vicious Vic Sage, I give you 1983’s Nickelodeon nail-biter U.F.O. Kidnapped!

YCDTOTV Christmas Special

There are only a few hours of Christmas left for us adults (I’ll be back to work tomorrow, anyway, don’t know about you). But when we were kids, Christmas lasted two weeks, two wonderful weeks filled with great specials like this one, Nickelodeon’s (okay, Canada’s) You Can’t Do That On Television Christmas special. Watch for the very last scene. I never wanted to be Alisdair so much in all my life.

Ross, Barth, Dungeon Guy: Les Lye Is Dead at Age 84


Canadian actor Les Lye died last week, age 84. Why are we reporting the death of an elderly Canadian actor? Lye was the sole adult (and continuous) cast member on the brilliant, early Nickelodeon classic You Can’t Do That on Television. Among the many roles he played on the show (which is actually some excellent sketch comedy that holds up) were Ross the stage director, Barth the disgusting burger joint cook, and the terrible suburban father. Lye also did some voice work for The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin and The Care Bears.

What else did he do? “I don’t know.”