Welcome to the Retroist Vault fiendish ones! I trust that Doug McCoy has filled your belly with delights from a thousand dimensions of epicurean sensation (and I trust you avoided those Nuclear Nachos unless you actually want to experience a thousand dimensions of intestinal discomfort), and that Phisbon3s has provided you with your pass to sail upon the River Styx of cinematic cruelty. Now, allow that denizen of doggy darkness Claymation Werewolf to show you to your coffin…err seat.
Now that you are comfortable, and restrained, we will begin tonight’s midnight creep show after a quick quandary! Have you ever wondered what would happen if You Can’t Do That on Television was less middle school SNL and more Sid and Marty Kroft? Well too bad, you’re going to find out anyway! On behalf of our beloved boss, that great validator of all paychecks here at the vault, Vicious Vic Sage, I give you 1983’s Nickelodeon nail-biter U.F.O. Kidnapped!