Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto Toys

One of my favorite hobbies (aside from writing, of course) is making music videos featuring clips from movies or television shows, set to songs we all know and love. I’ve been doing this for about nine years, starting with a Phil Hartman tribute I made in 2007 (it’s not uploaded anywhere). Between 2013 and 2015, I made three separate music videos for the show Stargate SG-1 and submitted them for Creation Entertainment’s music video contest. I won the first two times, and just when I thought three times was the charm, I didn’t win last year. A year later, I’m still surprised.

Uploaded by Allison Venezio

It was hilarious, at least in my opinion.

Last night, I was working on my Throwback Thursday and Flashback Friday videos, when one of my great ideas struck me. I hadn’t made a music video in a while, and I had Mr. Roboto by Styx primed as the theme song for the week’s videos, so why not expand upon that and feature clips from all the Robot Toy commercials from 1001 Classic Commercials?

So, um, this happened.

Uploaded by Allison Venezio

The commercials featured in this video are for The Ding-A-Lings, Robot Commander, Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots, and The Zeroids. I think you’ll agree the song timing and some of the visuals really worked well together. If you’ve ever had a moment where everything clicked and reacted with very loud (and very geeky) jubilation…oh, that’s just me.

Saturday Frights – R.O.T.O.R. (1988)


Hey creeps! Apparently all of The Retroist was infected by some sort of Robocop induced hysteria this week. After much investigation I apparently was wrong about the cause of the outbreak being linked to expired frozen yogurt ingested in front of a shrine dedicated to Peter Weller (there were toenail clippings and a Buckaroo Banzai comic involved), and instead it was the more mundane occurrence of revisiting a classic that is getting the remake “treatment” (which is hitting theaters whose clientele doesn’t include zombies, punks and the criminally insane). Oh, and that shrine? Let’s just say that The Projectionist chooses to spend his nights in a manner not fit for polite society.

So, far be it from me to keep the joys of Robocop from being passed on to you ghouls here at The Vault. What’s that? You think we are actually going to screen a stone cold classic like Robocop tonight! Hahaha…you fiends are adorable! But, our film does feature a robot that is also a cop…it also features the world’s buffest Rogue impersonator, robot lassoing, Beach Boys references…and Shoeboogie.

Sometimes I get MAD to the MAX when I can't recall where I've seen a similar images...

Sometimes I get MAD to the MAX when I can’t recall where I’ve seen a similar images…

So sit back, choke down a garbage can sized cup of soda and let 1988’s R.O.T.O.R. take you on a magical journey!

There’s 8 more parts that follow that video above…I wager you won’t be clicking those.

Saturday Frights – The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy


Holy cats creeps, you all should roll on up and get a choice seat in front of the ol’ silver screen, because believe you me your ol’ pal The Ouija Board Kid has got such a treat for you tonight that you’ll be singing the praises of Daniel XIII for years to come! The cinematic gold I’ve selected for you has absolutely everything you could ask for in a movie; there’s a robot, there’s a mummy, and…and…well that’s about it really, I mean there’s an evil scientist and some treasure, but yeah, that’s about all there is… but at least it delivers on the promise of its title; The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy…even though the Aztecs cremated their dead…

Because "The Glorified Cardboard Box vs. The Historically Inaccurate Monster" doesn't have the same ring to it...

Because “The Glorified Cardboard Box vs. The Historically Inaccurate Monster” doesn’t have the same ring to it…

So sit back, grab a refreshing haggis pocket from Doug McCoy at the concession stand and get ready to battle sleep…uh I mean be electrified by tonight’s triple A feature…ugh, at least it’s really short…

This is How You Sell Me a Vacuum Cleaner

I don't care how dirty my house is; no cyborg with Pegasus wings, no sale.

I don’t care how dirty my house is; no cyborg with Pegasus wings, no sale.

Apparently in 1970’s Japan, people were so lousy at vacuuming that dirt became sentient and started roaming around causing all manner of havoc. Naturally a woman transformed into a cyborg with Pegasus wings and proceeded to beat that dirt into a bloody smear. The documentary about this true life event appears below…

[Via] Brad Warner

Vintage Robot Toys

Last weekend I attended a local antique flea market, held monthly at our local fairgrounds. I found a lot of great retro items there, and although I didn’t buy much this time around I did take lots of pictures of cool items I thought you all would enjoy.

First up were these sweet vintage metal robot toys.

I don’t know anything about toy robots other than the fact that I adore them. Each of these were priced between $25-$50 — too much if you wanted to buy then all, but just right if you found one you couldn’t live without.

I think that green robot looks angry because somebody has been pushing his buttons