Christmas Oddities: A Visit to Santa

It’s early in December, but surely you’re getting pumped for the coming holiday and Santa’s arrival, aren’t you?

Well…?

Last week, I went to a one-night only showing of a double feature of two previous RiffTrax Live specials – 2013’s Santa Conquers the Martians, and the 2009 show Christmas Shorts-stravaganza. Both shows tripped on the bizarre nature of what Christmas looks like when viewed through an askew lens, but there was this one particular short that just absolutely tripped to the point where that lens was not only askew, but also covered in filters that can’t even make this short look halfway presentable. It screams public access (but it isn’t), low budget (which is clearly is), and contains the worst use of organ music ever.

I’m referring to A Visit to Santa!

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This 1963 (Really? It isn’t older than that?!) short film was shot in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania by Clem Williams Films. According to IMDb, this was their only short film. And with production values such as these, it is easy to see why they didn’t make anything else.

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This horribly acted (and difficult to understand) short film is about two kids, Dick and Ann, who write a letter to Santa asking if they could visit the North Pole.

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Based on how these kids speak, I find it hard to believe that these kids wrote this.

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Because Santa is all of us, this is where he lives.

Santa, from his home at the “North Pole” (which looks like an ugly living room), obliges. He sends one of his minidress-clad elves to claim the two children.

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What happens next sounds more like a hostage situation than a Christmas dream come true.

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If you ever want to see your parents again, you’ll come with me and learn all about parades and weird toy shops.

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There is no way that living room is inside this “castle.”

I could tell you all about the joys of disturbing elf wear, kids taken in the night from their safe bedroom to go meet some guy claiming to be Santa, and the jolly old fat man sitting in some living room somewhere, as well as footage of parades, fireworks, fake crash landings, and overuse of narration, but I’d rather you guys witness it all yourselves.

Uploaded by ChristmasToonFuntime

Unfortunately, this is only the unriffed version. If you’d like to see the riffed version (done by the guys from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RiffTrax – Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett), there is the version as shown during the Christmas Shorts-stravaganza, and there is also a studio version, but it is the same riffing as the version done in the live show. If you enjoy RiffTrax, consider making one or both of these a part of your collection. They’re a small business and every little bit helps, especially when they put on fantastic live shows such as the one audiences were lucky to see last week. Every penny is worth it!

And I’m not above admitting that I snorted during this short.

Allison is a lover of bad films (especially educational shorts) and funny people who riff them mercilessly. If you like what Allison has to say, check out her blog (you know the name), and follow it on Facebook for some randomness on your newsfeed. She’s also on Twitter @AllisonGeeksOut. 

Now, get dressed and hurry up! Don’t keep Allison waiting!

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May the 4th Be With These 1978 Commercials!

There’s a bit of an overkill vibe of “May the 4th Be With You” floating around the interwebs today. You’d think it’s some kind of official holiday, wouldn’t you?

I think we can all agree to disagree,The Star Wars Holiday Special made a great case for why we don’t celebrate Life Day, but actual Star Wars cannon makes a great case for why we celebrate May 4th as Star Wars Day.

Another thing we can all agree on? How great these 1978 commercials that aired during the holiday special are…when riffed by Michael J. Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy of RiffTrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame.

Both uploaded by Torgo Fury

Oh, and…you want Tobor. Because he’s probably some long-lost scrapped Star Wars character who got his own toy, complete with not-so-subliminal advertising pitch from Michael J. Nelson!

Allison is the collector of commercials, and commercials with RiffTrax commentary on them? They’re even better! She’d love for you to stop by her blog, Allison’s Written Words to see some of what she has in her collection, and would love for you to follow her blog on Facebook, if you like a little randomness and geekiness in your Facebook feed. And who doesn’t? You can also find her on Twitter @AllisonGeeksOut.

Allison doesn’t want Tobor.