The Chicago Tribune has put together a great slideshow demonstrating how everyone’s favorite sugar coated marshmallow treats, Peeps, are made. Now I thought I knew how peeps were born, but I guess I was misinformed. Watch as they magically transform from a vat of goo to the handsome little gentlemen that fill our supermarkets and clog our stomachs every Easter.
Did you ever ask, “Mommy, where do Peeps come from?” Did she give you a long answer involving facts on reproduction and scientific diagrams of Peep anatomy. Well, should anyone ever ask you this question, the true answer is simple: Peeps are hatched from foil-covered hollow chocolate eggs…duh. The Retroist was privileged to view such a hatching this Easter day…
Peep mothers are very caring and very smart. They know that if they hatch their eggs in protective cardboard boxes that their offspring will have a better chance of survival. Eggs hatched without boxes tend to fall out of their nests and break.
When it comes time to warm her eggs, the Peep mommy will release her seedling from its protective box, peel back the foil (that is used to confuse predators), and rest herself upon her prize.
Waiting is always the hardest part. Mamma will sit, and sit, and sit. She knows she’s almost finished when the chocolate beneath her marshmallowy tailfeathers begins to melt. When her bum has broken through, creating a small chocolate hole, her labor is complete.
From that point, it’s Baby Peep that goes to work. Baby Peep begins to peck at the small whole at the top of the egg created by its mother. It is not easy to peck through a chocolate shell when your beak is made of marshmallow…Baby Peep must work very diligently.
Baby Peep struggles and struggles, yearning to breath the non-stale-chocolate air, to meet its sugary mommy, and to soar in the Peep filled skies of Easter morn.
Finally to battle of birth is finished. Baby is free. Baby Peep gets comfortable in his nest. He’s overjoyed to begin life, yet cannot help but wonder why he is Yellow, but his Mommy is Pink. The quest for Father Peep begins…
Why decorate old chicken eggs when you can decorate the eggs of the future? Marshmallow Peep Eggs! Join me, will you, as I try out the new super cool Peep Decorating Kits.
Looks pretty good huh? You can decorate your eggs with all the colors of the rainbow. As long as that color is yellow. Even though the illustrations on the package are colorful, the decorating goo that comes with the kit is only yellow and an unpleasant yellow at that. One color and 6 blank palletes, to express ourselves, are we up to the challenge? Oh yeah.
Sadly this is the high point of our creative ability? Don’t blame the artist, blame the yellow goop. The stuff is horrible to work with and it tastes like death. To make my life easier I just took all the gel and put it on one egg. Do I dare eat it? Oh yeah!
Well I just got back from the hospital. After they removed a quart of this yellow gel from my stomach I am feeling much better. All in all not the most satisfying Easter experience, but hey it Peeps, so its all good.
I love the orange food. Be it mandarin oranges or day-glo Halloween Snowballs I just can’t get enough of the color that has no rhyming partner. If only they made orange peeps, our world would be perfect. What, they do? They make Orange flavored Peeps? Who knew. Well everyone but me it seems, but if you too haven’t gone to the Supermarket lately I proudly submit to you, Orange Creme Peeps.
Egg shaped and orange? Why? Who knows? Who cares. They taste awesome. Like having a giant chewy St. Josephs aspirin topped with orange custard swirl cone at the Jersey Shore. Of all the jumps in Peep technology this one impresses me the most. The heck with chocolate filled peeps, Citrus Creme is where its at. Vive La Citrus Creme and Vive La Peeps! Whats next? Watermelon Peeps for Fourth of July picnics? Turkey Gravy Peeps for thanksgiving? What does Orange Creme have to do with Easter anyway? So many questions and so little information. Vive La Retroism!