Playing With Rocks??

I always thought rocks were the worst playthings ever. I’m not exactly sure why this is, but it could stem from the many times Dad threatened to get me rocks for Christmas. It also could come from The Great Pumpkin, in which Charlie Brown keeps getting rocks instead of treats.
You can imagine my surprise, then, when toy manufacturers started putting out rock toys in the middle 80s. The first rock toys I remember (though perhaps not the first chronologically) were the Go-Bots Rock Lords. Being as skeptical of rock toys as I was, I really couldn’t believe it when Tonka released the Rock Lords. I figured they had run out of real things to transform and were left with nothing else. I still think it is kind of a stupid idea. It seems like it wouldn’t be as hard to transform into a rock as it would be to transform into a plane or other vehicle. It also seems like it wouldn’t be a effective. I mean, how can a rock fight evil?

Next was Rokkon and Stonedar from the Masters of the Universe series. I thought these were direct rip-offs from the Rock Lords (again, I could be wrong, but that’s how I saw it as a kid). The same questions about the effectiveness of transforming into a rock were there, as well as a question of why MOTU characters were now transforming.

Then there were the Inhumanoids. Now some of the Inhumanoids were rather cool, but as far as I could tell, the Granites were just rocks and subject to all the problems of the Rock Lords and Rokkon & Stonedar.

So as you can tell, I was not thrilled with this trend in 80s toys. I do have to admit one thing, though. They are all better than the Pet Rock.

Knight Rider Becames Robert

No I haven’t lost my mind or suffered a blow to the head. I was just looking over Something Awful’s Holiday Shopping Guide when I found this:

You see, old Go-Bots don’t die, they just get sent to China to be given a paint job based on every pair of Umbros shorts I ever had.

At least I think this is a Go-Bot. He looks really familiar. Can anyone put a name on him for me?

Megatron vs. Cy-Kill by Sean Hartter

Why live in a fantasy world where you just attempt to visualize what it would look like if the evil leaders of two of your favorite evil transforming robots faced off in a battle to the death? The stakes? Everything! It’s Cy-Kill vs. Megatron in the battle royale we have all been waiting for courtesy of Sean Hartter.

You can find more of Sean’s work at his website and look for more of his work to appear here on the Retroist regularly.