Saturday Frights: Rock n’ Roll Nightmare on Elm Street

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Now readin’ that little title up there, you folks are thinking one of two things; 1. Jon Mikl Thor and Robert Englund sang a duet together, or 2. the ol’ Ouija Board Kid is going to be blastin’ yer ear holes with all of the top jamzzz from the various Freddy flicks. Well, the reality lies somewhere in the middle…

I mean, The Nightmare series has produced classick tunes like this perennial favorite:

And this silly @$$ nonsense:

But no series is immune to the law of diminishing returns, so when Dokken was too costly we got:

and instead of the ol’ Fat Boys:

But while the films were at least trying to create a decent soundtrack someone else was just trying to finance that beach front property in Malibu…

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I’m not going to beat around the bush; this thing was the biggest piece of fart ever produced. Don’t believe me? Take a listen to this:

Way to phone it in Bobby.

Hey remember all those times you wished for a really poor cover of an obscure 60’s song jam packed with the snorts and chortles of a reality bending dream demon? Well, allow ol’ Daniel XIII to play the role of Wishmaster:

Believe me, Freddy “did” everyone that got suckered into buying this. Anyway, that’s enough for one night. I’ll just leave you with something to think about; someone thought it would be cool to not only create a children’s album featuring a character whose only goal in life (and death) was killing children, but they threw a little ditty on there all about where he committed those crimes :