Hey creeps, it’s that time of year again…that time when I shill the latest issue of the My Name Is…Jonah comic! Now you may ask yourself “Who the heck is Jonah and why should I read this comic?” Well dear fiends, I shall solve this insurmountable crisis for you with the following answers:
1. You should read the comic because it’s filled with retro flavored goodness, especially my ultra brilliant (or ultra stupid..mileage may vary) contribution! Seriously, it involves Nixon, Elvis and a bunch of super dated slang!
2. It is absolutely, 100% FREE!
3. It’s a digital download, so you won’t even have to leave your diabolical dungeon to pick up a copy!
Still not convinced? Here’s a sneak peek at my art for the issue:
So, head right here to check out all of the fun. Oh, and it should be said, these scintillating stories are not for sensitive readers!
This a genius comic ad. It tricks kids into selling Cloverine Salve by thinking they are winning a contest for some foreign coins (that I am sure are worth about 5 cents). Now that you got your foreign coins, you just need to go door to door selling their fine smelling salve. What a bargain. Can you name all the countries?
Note: Cloverine, which contains White Petrolatum, Fragrance, Rectified Turpentine Oil and White Wax is still sold today in a very retro looking package.
I don’t dislike Star Wars (I was quite smitten with in the early 80s, in fact), but I probably like it least of everybody on Team Retroist. Still, it is Star Wars Day, so what better time to share these Star Wars ads I found in early 80s comics. The first is for some sort of sweepstakes that I’m sure I would have dreamed of winning back then, and the other two are for toys. Notice the Death Star play set. One of my distant cousins had that and brought it over to Grandma’s once. I was very taken with the elevator and the trash compactor, especially the monster inside the trash compactor. May the Fourth be with you!
Another classic villain undone by the flaky crust and flavorful filling of Hostess Fruit Pies. Why doesn’t every hero just carry around a backpack pull of these things. Like miracles they are…
The back of comics were always filled with ads for things that you could sell to earn prizes. I never really understood the economics behind it, but I never did it because even at an early age it struck me as unfair. Would you do your full-time adult job and then later redeem points you earned for fabulous prizes? Like this electric typewriter?
No? Well you are pretty smart and your neighbors and friends probably appreciate that you didn’t try to sell them boxes of Seeds and Christmas Cards. Comics nowadays don’t have these ads, but thanks to the magic of the web and my scanner, you can see them again.
Grit was America’s Family Newspaper that no one in your family ever read.
The Sales Leadership Club – Sell 24 boxes of cards and check out the sweet stereo you can get.
I don’t know how anyone sells seeds. Those who did are the future sales geniuses and are now running the world.