Holy cats, how long has it been since I’ve graced you boils and ghouls with a lil’ purple prose from your’s cruelly ’round these parts? Too long I say…and just why have I made my return with all of the award losing style and grace I am known for? Well, because ol’ vicious Vic Sage posted about those sexy Sectaurs the other day and that got my ol’ noggin juices a flowin’!
You see, I lived my misspent youth in a bucolic little industrial town nestled within the foothills of the Adirondack mountains…and what we lacked in big box retailers and solid gold roller skate rinks we more than made up for in poopy smelling factories; 99% of which were leather mills…but oh, the other glorious 1% was a manufacturing plant for none other than Coleco (which I guess isn’t so strange when you realize Coleco started life as the Connecticut Leather Company).
And what did those nimble lil’ fingers of those industrious workers put together? A bunch of stuff, but also Sectaurs…that is until the incident (cue dramatic music and thunderstorm f/x).
You see, those bodacious bugs our insect pals road around on were covered in fur, and said fur was flown in from parts unknown (perhaps Symbion itself…or China…I’m going with Symbion), and said pelts, though synthetic, were loaded…nay, infested with fleas…and that’s all she wrote on that one. Alanis couldn’t have come up with richer irony than a bug based toyline taken down by bugs…
There are other stories too, like every kid in school who’s parents worked at that plant had a talking ALF doll…it was like unto a furry Dr. Theopolis (Theopoli…biddi biddi biddi…whatevs) hanging off their person dispensing that beloved Melmacian wit.
Or the fact that enterprising scamps would scale the fence of the factory, steal Colecovision eproms from the dumpsters and sell them to kids sort of like (but definitely not for legal reasons) me. But that is a tale for another age my fine fiends!
[Via] Scottith Games
Speaking of Melmacian wit, cast your peepers on this vintage Coleco commercial for one of their dolls!
What can make a morning better? ALF can do that very thing, of course! Now it’s no great secret that those of us here at The Retroist enjoy 1980’s ALF. We have been known to share once or twice…or more, our appreciation of everyone’s favorite Melmacian.
Having said that, I will have to admit I wasn’t aware that ALF had any Read-Along Books and Tapes back in the day. But lo and behold there were at least four of them produced. Besides ALF Drops In that we are sharing today. There was Super-ALF, ALF Plays Detective, and ALF Goes Wild as well.
I found it equally important that they were all released by Buena Vista. Indeed, the same company also known for book and record combos like last week’s The Black Hole!
In this instance, ALF Drops In retells how Gordon Shumway met the Tanner Family. In addition to some great artwork throughout the storybook. It appears that all of the cast provided their voices to their characters from the TV series. Either that or they took audio from various television episodes – but I highly doubt that was the case.
The narrator for ALF Drops In is none other than William “Bill” Woodson. Who narrated a great deal of those books and records for Buena Vista. As well as providing all manner of voice work – which I might add included a very famous line from the Super Friends!
Seeing that this is in fact a book and cassette tape. I certainly hope you will forgive me for lumping it in the Retro Records category. So without further ado let us join ALF and the Tanners for ALF Drops In!
I was recently searching online for a quote that I vaguely remember Alf making many many years ago. During that search I stumbled upon the Springfield! Springfield! website which holds episode transcripts for all three seasons of Alf (or A.L.F. or Alien Life Form).
Reading through various episodes is a peculiar experience, largely thanks to the lack of stage direction but there are some gags which jump of the page:
Trevor, is there such a thing as a cross between a kangaroo and an aardvark?
Ah, stop putting yourself down.
It’s actually quite a fun game to read the script, try to guess what is happening and then watch the episode. My recollection of episode one was very sketchy!
If Alf isn’t your thing, the Springfield! Springfield! website has a huge library of film and TV scripts for your enjoyment and is worth checking out, especially if you are a fan of The Simpsons (as you might have guessed!).
Goodnight sweetheart, well it’s time to go…to my day job as Head of Children’s Programming…
I am convinced that Bowzer from Sha Na Na was the head of children’s programming for every network in the 80’s…well at the very least he had to have been in charge of cartoon theme songs. Don’t believe me? Check out the inordinate amount of doo-woppin’ that was going on…
Seriously…what in the bom ba ba bom ba bom ba bom bom ba ba bom ba ba bom ba ba dang a dang dang ba ba ding a dong ding was going on?