philadelphia-cream-cheese

This Philadelphia Cream Cheese Commercial is Confusing

The message that cream cheese is awesome is not confusing. Instead it is their choice of music and visuals, which were seemingly cobbled together at random. This is Philadelphia Cream Cheese and they open up with a shot of San Francisco? Then when the music comes in, it has nothing to with Philly or San Francisco, instead it is “New York, New York?”

Thinking about it just leaves me feeling confused. Confused, but also hungry for a bagel with the rich creamy taste of Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

New York…New York…

super-mario-alphabet
pointmaster-joystick

The PointMaster Competition Joystick

I was always pretty happy with the standard joystick on the Atari 2600 and probably would not have experimented with alternative sticks if it wasn’t for a left-handed friend who struggled with the standard Atari stick and received a few top buttons sticks from various family members. The button placement never worked for me, but I did like the action on these longer sticks and I thought the grip was less blistering than the standard Atari rubber.

You can still pick up PointMasters relatively cheaply, about 10 bucks, and if you have an Intellivision, you can get their Quik Stik version.

fazz

Fazz was Everything to Everyone

In the Eighties, things needed to be multiple things. This is probably best represented by the Transformers and Gobots, but a lot of other people tried to get in on the craze. Enter Fazz.

Fazz were these colorful accessories. Things like bracelets or hair clips that have these containers attached to them filled with makeup. So say you felt that your lips weren’t glossy enough? Pop off that banana clip and use the gloss inside.

I cannot say I remember seeing many people using Fazz when I was growing up, but maybe that was the point. You secretly would have makeup with you at all time and no one would know.

They should have applied this to something besides makeup…like food.

“Hey I love that belt buckle!”

“You mean my chicken drumstick?”

“What!!”

“Your cheeseburger looks delicious!”

“You mean my winter scarf?”

“Wow!”

mcdonalds-animated-biscuits

Wake up with the animated McDonald’s Breakfast Biscuits

This short ad ran back in 1988 and features some nice animation of anthropomorphic biscuits baking in an oven along with a snippet of the “It’s a beautiful morning” song that McDonald’s used heavily around this time. Both now, and back in 1988, this ad made me hungry for a breakfast sandwich. So it is a pretty well made ad, but that does not mean it is not flawed.

The flaw is in the logic of a living biscuit creature being able to roast and cook in a hot oven, but then when it grows feet and suddenly the very same oven burns them when they stand, instead of lay down, on the rack? This despite the fact that they are wearing sneakers? Some things just aren’t believable.

diet-mountain-dew

Diet Mountain Dew… for the Mature Soda Drinker

Remember the good ol’ days? When you spent your summer days hanging down by the river? You had a Mountain Dew in one hand and a rope in the other. No one could swing across that River like you back then. You felt like those days would never end.

Now you are a bit older and have switched to a diet soda. Sure you like the taste, but it’s the knowing that bother you. Knowing that your body can no longer handle the high sugar content of real Mountain Dew without turning flabby. So each time you pop open a can, it is like another nail in the coffin of your youth. When Deb and Susie brought it up at that lake party how could you not jump in the lake to prove that you still had that spark that made you feel alive.

Okay, so you embarrassed your boss and are probably going to get fired on Monday, but for a brief moment, you felt the Dew, and that makes it all worth it.

Retro Radio Memories - ep 9

Retro Radio Memories Podcast – Episode 009 (Buck Rogers – The Gyro Cosmic Relativator)

Welcome back friends to the Retro Radio Memories podcast! Each podcast my co-host, the Projectionist and I will briefly discuss a classic old time radio show before sharing said program with you listeners. This week we present and episode from the 1939 Buck Rogers in the 25th Century series entitled “The Gyro Cosmic Relativator”.

If you have any suggestions for radio programs you would like for us to cover in the future or comments, email them to me at VicSage@Retroist.com. You can also follow me on Twitter and on Facebook. The Projectionist may be reached at https://www.facebook.com/projectionist.haunteddrivein if you have any comments or questions for the shadowy cinephile from Haddonfield.

Music on the show was provided by Peachy (the Johnny Harris of Wales), if you have musical needs, why not contact Peachy at peachy@Retroist.Com .And be sure to “Like” him on his Facebook page.