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Let’s “Dance”…Y’All?

So, in the mid-1990s, there was this dance craze, and it swept the nation…ok, fine, it swept the inner cities of the Bible Belt. Ok fine, it never swept anything aside from a dance studio floor. But don’t tell Diane Horner this craze never caught on, she doesn’t need to know.

Several years ago, my former Hip Hop instructor shared this video on Facebook (as did many other people). I know it was because he taught Hip Hop and all, but this was not just any Hip Hop. Oh heck no, it was so much more. In fact, it was…

Screenshot (24)OMG.

I only needed to see the title to realize that what I had entered to is the equivalent of that Seventh Circle of Hell I’ve been terrified of for years, except it’s ten circles inside the seventh and it’s even more terrifying!

And then there’s your host and professional dancer.

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I’m sorry.

Actually I’m not.

I paused the video for the screenshot, and this happened. And after I stopped laughing at the pain I knew I would be inflicting on my readers, I cropped the photo. And I refused to re-take it.

OMG, that hair. Women loved that haircut in the 90s. Yours truly had it, but it wasn’t so…it was flat.

Anyway, this is Diane Horner. Say hi to her!

Diane, clad in her best biker shorts under jean shorts, complete with vest and boots, tells us about the?newest trend in country line dancing they’ve seen all over the United States and Canada as they’ve been touring. I’d love to know what they were touring for, but I’m also trying not to ask too many questions. Especially when we meet her other dancers:

Heidi, aka “Not Jennifer Lopez, but an incredible simulation”

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TJ…All signs point to this stud.

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Susan! She doesn’t have anything.

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And…Jamie.

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He’s a stud too. And his moves?

giphy

HAWT!

Oh, and that’s the first GIPHY I’ve ever made. No lie, I made it for you. And you. And the other five people who will read this.

Stop staring at my work of art!

And the moves?

giphy (1)?giphy (2)

giphy (3)?giphy (4)

giphy (5)?giphy (6)

Magical.

And these aren’t all of the dances featured, but one cannot live by GIPHYs alone. Oh no, there’s video!

Uploaded by mershal’s channel

How do you think I made the GIPHYs? There needed to be source material!

I’d also love to know what the deal is with the Vaseline/Barbara Walters lens filter. Did anyone think using this lens would make this any more appealing than it clearly wasn’t? It has about as much appeal as…no, there’s no appeal involved in this. There’s only pain from laughing and pulling a chest muscle.

No, that did not happen.

Folks, this video only scratches the surface of what I’m sure was a very worthwhile hybrid of dance to learn. After all, where else can you learn the Roger Rabbit dance AND the variant Diane Horner teaches?

giphy (6)

Nowhere else.

Oh and…confession time. I know how to do the Roger Rabbit. No, I don’t have video proof of it. No, I don’t plan on making a video to prove it. Just take my word for it, I did Hip Hop for seven years. All you need to know is that I can.

So, from the (very) little I can gather about Country Hip Hop, this is from 1994, and Country isn’t the only thing Diane?tried to combine with Hip Hop.

She also did a Big Band Hip Hop video. No, seriously. It’s on You Tube. I’ll cover it, I swear.

And even better…this is on VHS. For sale from third-party sellers on Amazon.

Diane Horner has done quite a few of these line dancing videos, and from what little I can gather on You Tube, they’re…magical. I’m sorry, I can’t think of another word to describe what I’ve seen. Though I can think of a word to describe this.

giphy

Stud.

To my boyfriend, James: Take notes. This guy.

And that’s the wonderful world of Hip Hop-Country Line Dancing hybrid dance, the (supposedly) hottest dance hybrid to sweep the United States and Canada.?Seriously, I want to know where Diane Horner and her mad dance crew toured so she could state this “fact.”

Oh, and if anyone is looking to buy me something for my birthday this year (seven months from now)…

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$35 on Amazon, brand new. Can’t beat that.

You can find Allison geeking out and digging through obscurities of the past on her blog, Allison’s Written Words, when she isn’t acting like a nostalgia archaeologist for Retroist. You can follow her blog on Facebook, and on Twitter @AllisonGeeksOut.

And yes, she does the Roger Rabbit dance.

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