Behold the awesome power of your Zenith Television Computer Brain!

Tremble before the analytical might of the Zenith System 3 you small-brained humans. It’s single chip of processing power makes all those who behold it tremble. You with your feeble flesh brains are naught but mindless slaves to the will of the System 3. Bow down before your new overlord and be grateful for “Perfect Strangers” is about to start and it is that episode where they make bibbi babka and sing that great song and you will watch it on the pinnacle of technological perfection.


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5 thoughts on “Behold the awesome power of your Zenith Television Computer Brain!

  1. Max Power says:

    “Zenith makes desktop computers, too.” What an odd non-sequitur. Seems like the head of the computer division got the CEO to insist that they got a piece of all advertising.

  2. alphacentaurian says:

    Smart TVs: The early years. Wonder what model of chip they used for “the computer brain”. Nowadays, you want at least a quadcore ARM chip. Love the remote control. Couches must have found those deeeeeeelicious :)

  3. Atari Adventure Square says:

    Indeed, early concept ‘Smart’ TVs were a concept high-tech enough to reach levels of supreme deification.
    And, truthfully, as we gazed upon its displays of programming wisdom, took in its songs of sponsorized lifestyle teachings, marvelled at its sleek, modern interactive altar – how far were we from rapture on a daily basis… touched, as we were, by that promise of a cameo, a special guest star, or a life-changing movie-of-the-week.

    Yeah, TV in the 70s was a revelation, a chapter-and-verse on the Chosen One weekend special, recited off the pages of the ubiquitous TV Guide, found in every good home and hotel room.

    And Zenith was no demi-god amidst the pantheon of tubed spiritualists.
    It was Zeus in-a-box, it was as thunderously impressive by its high-end existence as its logo suggested, it made you believe in the saying “in the comfort of your living room”.
    Cuz comfort is all the gee-whizzery that could make you a spaceman but lies at the ready on the shag carpet.
    Just a handheld press away from living as you know you should be – watching Johnny in adjustable color ranges.

    And it goes to show how far we’ve fallen from tubular grace, as today’s ‘Smart’ sets are all things except instantly comforting to the eyes, as only a few default color schemes fool the eyes, these wizened eyes used to warmer views of old single-camera shows.

    Nowadays, data-mining subsets of Menu rules toss auto-linked apps and instant-connectivity upon you as if some blessing from the serpentine tracks which are either sliding suggested functionality your way or slipping unearned knowledge away from you, into an unknown cesspool of commercial ventures, so very very far away from the day of Johnny Olsen gleefully vaunting noodle brands and bland appliances.

    Yes, bring us back, closer, to our Zenith overlord, to practical fusion of telecommunications (Remotes can be phones? Science! Today, we’ve reversed the trend) to useful accomodation of color calibration, which I could never figure out properly, as if caught in a mad spiral of “Now choose your character’s facial features” hell in yet another RPG.

    Yes. It’s not surprising the creation of the Zenith Advanced System 3 originates on the very Grid where the MCP once ruled reality (That top picture is an actual production design photo).

    The future awaits us in the past.
    We are Redi for it.

  4. zelig says:

    178 channels available and not a single mention you could use an import Famicom on channel 95? This should have been at the top of the ad copy. I hope someone was sacked for this marketing blunder.

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