Raiders of the Lost Jar of Oxy Clean

They were both tied to posts in the bedroom of Indiana’s newest nemesis, the villainous fifteen year-old girl Tiffany. A teen as mean as her complexion was bad. Marion and Indy had spent the better part of the year trying to find that Jar and Marion wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

“Close your eyes, Marion!”, Indy shouted.

“Not again”, she thought as she shut her eyes and braced for the upcoming storm. This was a big one. When it was over the ropes that had bound them were gone and all was silent in this suburban Chicago bedroom.

Tiffany was never seen again. The jar they say was lost, but I hear it was turned over to the government for study by top men. What was in that jar? Some say power beyond comprehension. Others say Benzoyl Peroxide. The only one who knows for sure would be Tiffany and that pizza face hasn’t been spotted since that day.

It has been conjectured that the clear faced Tiffany, who looks a lot like the other Tiffany, is in fact the same Tiffany. But with her clear complexion and boosted confidence that Tiffany has become very popular and we have not been able to reach her for comment.

Follow

The Retroist

Editor/Podcaster at Retroist
The Retroist is like a BBQ on a bun without the bones. You're only human daddy. Chomp!
Follow

Subscribe to the Retroist Newsletter

* indicates required

One thought on “Raiders of the Lost Jar of Oxy Clean

Comments are closed.