Diet Mountain Dew… for the Mature Soda Drinker

Remember the good ol’ days? When you spent your summer days hanging down by the river? You had a Mountain Dew in one hand and a rope in the other. No one could swing across that River like you back then. You felt like those days would never end.

Now you are a bit older and have switched to a diet soda. Sure you like the taste, but it’s the knowing that bother you. Knowing that your body can no longer handle the high sugar content of real Mountain Dew without turning flabby. So each time you pop open a can, it is like another nail in the coffin of your youth. When Deb and Susie brought it up at that lake party how could you not jump in the lake to prove that you still had that spark that made you feel alive.

Okay, so you embarrassed your boss and are probably going to get fired on Monday, but for a brief moment, you felt the Dew, and that makes it all worth it.

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Garry Vander Voort

Editor/Podcaster at Retroist
The Retroist is like a BBQ on a bun without the bones. You're only human daddy. Chomp!
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