I can’t believe that I’m the only one in this whole place that actually showed up to work today. Doug McCoy took a personal day to read every Howard and Nester strip in chronological order, Claymation Werewolf and Phisbon3s are at that new age couple’s retreat run by that quack Dr. Waggner, and don’t even get me started on Vic Sage…calling in sick. He isn’t too sick to be challenging King Vidiot to a game of Tapper, which I CLEARLY SAW as I drove the hearse past the arcade on my way here! Just because I hang out with bats doesn’t mean I’m blind as one!
Well, whatever. The show must go on. And just look at all those sucker…er I mean patrons down there…just waiting with breathless abandon at what thrills await them on the screen tonight. I know they expect some standard creep show, but you know what, they are in the gnarled grip of The Ouija Board Kid now! Time to lay some of that Daniel XIII funk down on them turkeys! And what better way to do that then with the mannequin horror romp Tourist Trap!
Tourist Trap is the charming tale of a shut-in telekinetic that uses his ability to animate mannequins to violently murder a group of teens…probably based on a true story. As an interesting side note, this film was directed by David Schmoeller, and executive produced by Charles Band who a few years later would dip into the same well when they unleashed Puppet Master upon the world (which put Full Moon pictures on the map). It also was a partial influence on a certain Retroist writer when he crafted his debut novella…in fact the sexiest Retroist writer, whose book is available right now on Kindle…a writer whose talent is…HEY! Who threw that popcorn bucket?!! All right, let’s start this freak show!
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