The Harlem Globetrotters. Of all of the novelty, exhibition basketball teams out there, they have always been, at the very least, in my top 10. But little did I know that there was more to this team than throwing pretend buckets of water on people, goofing on refs and occasionally helping Scooby Doo and the gang, solve a mystery. These guys were apparently a crime fighting group in their own right. And with an episode name like The Super Globetrotters Vs The Time Lord, it seems our heroes will be squaring off against “The Doctor” himself. Prepare yourself for some above the rim, basketball spinning, Tardis flying action, with Your Super Globetrotters.
Super Globetrotters Episode 9. Super Globetrotters Vs The Time Lord.
Well, the opening was…different. For starters the music was funk-tastic so I can’t find any fault there. It appears as though the guys are just regular old basketball comedy acrobatic superstars until the globetrotters signal goes off. Then they hop into lockers which crazily hop and jerk around and they emerge as super powered grotesque body horrors! …then they fight crime and what-not. Should be interesting.
So far the episode is pretty goofy and plot-holey but at least it is a little bit more rational than some of the stuff ive watched recently (I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing)
There is some kind of big announcement about a new time machine. It can talk and all it wants in the world is the chance to see the globetrotters play (ooooo-kay…)
All the while, an evil villain known as the Time Lord (sadly, not Doctor Who)
is planning to steal it because he is the only true master of time and he wants to keep the globetrotters from using the talking time machine to turn the world into a better place (even though there is no evidence that anyone wanted to use the time machine for any such reason) He has a time crystal he can use to stop, slow down or speed up time. He decides to use it to bring back the most masterful theifs from history. He does this by saying there name, pointing the crystal and making them appear. From my understanding of the time crystal, this isn’t actually how it works but I’ll just go with it.
Anyway he brings for a Bill and Teds style assembly of historic characters (and just like in Bill and Ted, none of them were real people) We got the cat lady, the short lookout guy, the driver, and the other guy)
He’s going to use his time control powers to steal the time machine!
The globetrotters get a call on their magic radio from their sattelite in space that looks like a giant space basketball with an antennae the radio gets their attention by saying. “NOW DIG THIS” yeahhhh.
So they break into the time machine facility and the Super Globetrotters are hot on their heels, but thanks to the short lookout guy, the Time Lord gets the drop on them. They kidnap giant basketball head curly and use him (somehow) to capture the rest of the Super Globetrotters (who, for some reason everyone keeps calling The Globetrotter Super Heroes)
According to TL between the crystal and the time machine he can send the globetrotters back in time! …so he can just randomly pluck villains from the past (all of whom join his plan immediately, without question) but he has to have all this equiptment and a big song and dance to send people back in time? I call no way.
He puts the globetrotters in an invisible cage called
The Time Warp! …it’s just a jump to the left. And then a step to the riiiiiiiight. Put your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tiiiiight and as th…. Oops, ahem,
The Globetrotters escape the time warp (let’s do the time warp agaaaaaaiiin!)
And we get treated to some wacky Scooby Doo esque chase hijinks through the big scary mansion. In the end the talking time machine gets re-captured and the Globetrotters have to develop a new plan to rescue him. They decide to leave notes telling the bad guys that there is gold in the laboratory for them
And telling the others that their fellow badies are stealing the gold. This makes no sense whatsoever. Who do they think wrote these notes the time lord? Why would he do that when he wants them to capture the globe trotters (in a couple of the cases the globetrotters actually hand deliver the notes to the bad guys!) oy….
Anyway, the the globetrotters manage to capture the baddies in the time warp (but it’s the pelvic thrrrrruuuust that really drives you insayayayaannne)
And they wont let them out unless they get the time machine returned. Instead of returning the time machine, TL decides to challenge them to a basketball game. Winner gets the time machine! The globetrotters agree as long as the proceeds got to charity!
The time lord uses his time crystal during the game to alter the speeds of the players and help his team of crooks to kick some major globetrotter butt. At one point the baddies are running around in circles shooting basket after basket (not even legal basketball playing!)
The globetrotters decide to cheat back and they become super globetrotters (or…globetrotter superheroes, or Goody goody do gooders, basketball buffoons and meddlesome dribblers.) They only do this after their jive talking super radio tells them to. But afterwards they score a bunch of cheating baskets in a row and win the day!
The cops arrest the Time Lord and the other bad guys (but the rest of the crew arent even from that time period…I think the law might be a little shady here.)
And the team decides to hand deliver the clock.
They push it uphill quite a while then ride it down hill!
Closing joke: “Time really flies!” …oy.
The whole time I watched this I felt like I was watching a combination of Robonic Stooges and New Scooby Doo Movies (neither of which I like) I guess this was okay…I would like to see a big origin story where we find out why we have a giant noodle guy, a multiple man, a water man with snorkle and flippers, a giant basketball head guy and an afro guy with scientific gizmos, hidden in his afro. The whole thing felt very thrown together….I can relate to that!
See ya next time!.
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