Daniel Th1rte3n’s Top 10 Films: #7 Neon Maniacs

Hello again Retro B-Movie junkies! I know I’ve taken you on a bizarre journey with my last few entries in this series as we’ve examined robot superheroes, future barbarians, and tentacle horror, but I promise you that all pales in comparison to what I offer you today!

What other decade than the 80’s could bring us such a spectacle as melting monsters, battling bands, and squirt guns as the ultimate weapon against the supernatural all in the same film…and who else but me would count it among his favorites? Read on to learn all about my number seven favorite film, Neon Maniacs!

Before I give a synopsis of the plot to Neon Maniacs I’d like to relate a quick anecdote inspired by a recent post by our own Doug McCoy. Doug wrote how he associated Castlevania with Richard Marx, as the song Endless Summer Nights was on heavy radio rotation as he played the game. Well, I have a similar story with Neon Maniacs and Whitesnake.

The summer I first viewed Neon Maniacs on USA’s classic show Up All Night also happened to be the summer that I spent most of my time lounging around in my cousin’s pool listening to the local rock station constantly. The big hit that summer was Whitesnake’s Still of the Night. In my mind these two things are now inexorably linked!

Anyway, you probably would like to hear a bit about the film, so here goes! Our story concerns a young lady named Natalie, who should be having the time of her life. She hangs out with cool kids in a bitchin’ van in beautiful San Fran, but alas things aren’t all sunshine and PBR. You see, Natalie has recently broken up with her main squeeze…oh that and a group of monsters showed up and murdered all of her friends. Bummer.

The creatures, the Neon Maniacs are none too happy that Natalie got away, and now they want to finish what they started. Natalie in the meantime has reported what happened to the police, but they think she’s a bit on the crazy side (although the van is trashed…and there’s glowing puddles of slime everywhere). Eventually Natalie, and her new love interest Steve are waylaid by the Maniacs on the subway after a date, but they manage to escape. Soon they are joined by Paula, a fellow high school student who investigated the murder scene and witnessed one of the Maniacs come in contact with water, which didn’t go to well for the monster.

So armed with that knowledge the kids decide to make a stand! The Maniacs stalk their prey to the High School Battle of the Bands, but the kids are armed with squirt guns. After an epic battle for the ages, the Maniacs are forced to retreat, but not before the police arrive and are convinced that Natalie was telling the truth.

The police then bring the rain (literally since they are now armed with squirt guns) to the Maniacs front door! Finally the Neon Maniacs are destroyed…or are they?

Normally I’d post a link to buy the movie, but Neon Maniacs is out of print and therefore expensive, but it is available on Netflix, so if you have that check Neon Maniacs out!

Next time it’s Nazi zombies and swimming pools! Stay Creepy!

Daniel XIII

Daniel XIII: equally at home at a seance as he is behind the keyboard. Raised on a steady diet of Son of Satan comics, Kaiju flicks and Count Chocula comes the proprietor of The House of Thirteen Doors. What arcane knowledge lurks behind the preternatural eyes of the Ouija Board Kid?

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2 thoughts on “Daniel Th1rte3n’s Top 10 Films: #7 Neon Maniacs

  1. Doug says:

    Out of the park, Daniel. Excellent. I too saw this on USA, though I saw it on Saturday Nightmares. I was young and it terrified me. I think it was the low budget look (low budget has always scared me for some reason) and the fact that I kept confusing Neon Maniacs with Neo-Nazis that was so terrifying (in fact, I still struggle to get the title correct today; I want to call it Neo Maniacs), but in any case, the subway chase had me on the edge of my seat. I still think about it when I ride BART today. I recently watched this again and wasn’t nearly so scared. What was up with the first scene? The monsters have bubblegum cards that they pass out to their victims? And if they’re so sensitive to water, why do they live right on the Bay? Still, it is an excellent choice. I say Bravo, sir. And if your next pick is what I think it is, I say Bravo times two.

  2. @ Doug Thanks!! I’m so glad you enjoyed the article, and that you shared your memories of the movie as well!! As for why water fearing monsters would move to San Francisco..it defies logic!

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