Akira

I have a hatred for this game. A hatred that has burned within me since childhood. A hatred that feels deeper than any ocean on this planet. A hatred that transcends racial, social and religious boundaries. As long as I have breath in my body I will maintain my hatred of this game.

This game has scarred me deep.

I won’t beat about the bush with this. I don’t like this game. I despise it even. And you may think this is harsh. Maybe even a little unfair. But trust me when I say it’s not worth even playing to investigate. As if this is one game hated across all the Amiga communities. For a very valid reason.

IT SUCKS!

Now I am going to be reviewing both the OCS/ECS and AGA enhanced, or so they claimed, CD32 version as apart from a load time difference they are both the same.

Graphics are ok I suppose. I couldn’t tell much difference between the OCS/ECS graphics and the AGA graphics of the CD32 version. Except for the between level cut scenes looking slightly better on the CD32 version. However if I am totally honest then I suppose I could say they have done at least an alright job trying to keep the level designs to mach the scenes from the film. However this praise is instantly kicked in the teeth with the final level. Because I am sure, nay 100% positive, that the finally battle did not happen in some cyber space-ish looking thing with a floating red blob. With electronic chips and random crap from the game as a background.

Game play is just none existent. The difficulty curve is far too great and even getting off the first section of the first level seems like a task too far, or even unworthy of making the effort. On one of the later levels, where you are flying the hover bike thing through a sewer, has so much crap either been shot at you or flying towards you that it’s impossible to avoid or shoot it all. This also applies to the platformer style levels. Where things respawn back in the same place the instant the screen scrolls past where it was standing. The collision detection is appalling with shots sometimes just flying straight through the enemies. However this is all coupled into the next thing that’s terrible about this game.

The controls suck. They suck so bad that I am trying not to allow this to go into its own dark little rant. The vehicle sections feel like your trying to drive or fly through sludge. The platforming sections constantly feel like your walking on ice from a Mario game. Firing takes so long that I could have walked up and kicked them in the shin before the attack decides to activate. And jumping has a terrible delay and clipping issue. Where I would make a perfectly reasonable jump and end up falling right through the next platform.

The sound is the only thing that seems to be alright in the game. I actually kind of enjoyed some of the music in the game and it feels fitting and in keeping with the music heard in the film.

However….

I have tried several times now to write a somewhat respectable review. I tried to weigh the merits of attempting to develop this game against the overall quality of the finished product. But you know what, stuff this game. As in all honesty I am having trouble even identifying this game as anything other than a rotten, terrible, flaccid, pathetic, mind numbing, putrid, broken mess of a game. Hell I would play Running Man over this game and that one stank lousy.

But not as lousy as Akira.

It should have been a good game. It should have been on of the great tie-in’s ever created. It should have been any Amiga owning Akira fan’s dream. But instead we have a game that just barely manages to register as a game.

The controls suck to the point that it would be easier to smash your head against a brick wall through 3 inch thick steel. The graphics look just ok even on the AGA CD32 version. The level designs just manage to resemble the scenes from the film, though I am 100% sure that the final battle in the film was not against a giant blob in cyberspace. The game is so difficult I could probably learn German with greater ease. And I am pretty sure that even Buddha says a little curse word every time someone plays this.

So I condemn this game to pits of the Retroist vault for all eternity. May its broken carcass rot in a dark, damp corner with a massive sign declaring it’s zero star status.

AVOID!!!!!!

*video is form the CD32 version*

Gameplay Video

CritAnime

I grew up in the magical 8-bit era of computers and consoles. I saw the games crash and saw the recovery from it with the NES. I will always have my trusty C64 in my office and when the need arises I will pop a tape in the Datasette and play some classic games.

With a wealth of knowledge, especially on old-school rpg's, I hope to bring it to you. The viewers of Retroist.com

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2 thoughts on “Akira

  1. Crit…I feel a bit like Sam Neill’s character from Even Horizon after watching the video and seeing the difficulty, not to mention how flawed the gameplay is. I’m sure I would have broken a joystick if I had played this game in my youth.

    Sorry you had to take another hit for the team…but at least it made the Running Man better? ;)

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