Cart Art Halloween Special: Vampires!

No other creature of the night has appeared in so many different genres of fiction as Vampires. From fantasy, horror, sci-fi, romance (I promise, no more Twilight references), action, period pieces, you name it, something with fangs and a fear of the sun has sucked some blood in it. Of course, video games are no exception with fang heads as villains and a few times the good guys. However, this article is not about the history and importance of Vampires in video games, but rather some really funky covers that feature them. Without further ado, Cart Art presents: Vampires!

BloodNet

“Thank you for calling Vampire Technical support, my name is Vlad, how can I assist you this evening? Hmmmm, okay, have you unplugged your fangs and them plugged them back into you victim and blood is still not flowing? No, okay. Is this person your first victim of the evening? Did you use your enthralling gaze after your Bat shapeshifting? I am going to need you to find the blood time type and place of origin of your victim. While you do this I am going to place you on hold and prep an on sight visit from one of our In the Field Victim Blood Flow specialists, just in case we are unable to resolve the issue over the phone.”
A screaming vampire with a headset makes me chuckle greatly. I mean, isn’t it going to get in the way of his neck biting. This is why the vampire community as a whole adopted the small bluetooth headsets early. Though the vamp on the cover looks nothing like Michael Douglas, it reminds me of the first Wall Street movie. Maybe it’s from a movie in between the two movies, like “Wall Street 1.5: Blood Never Sleeps.”

The Astonishing Adventures of Mr. Weems and the She Vampires

Sit back, relax and take a moment to enjoy every little bit of this cover. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Finished?

Behold our little nebbish hero, his plain blue suit, this 1950’s reporter glasses and bizarre Tommy Gun with a revolver cylinder in it. Inspires fear in the hearts of all vampires huh? Speaking of the vampires, our titular She Vampires, how did the one on the right fit in that coffin? Are they collapsible? In the end, does it matter? With a title like the one this games has, the cover is just gravy. . .delicious neck gravy.

Dracula Unleashed

Look into my eyes! No really, look into them and not the stupid sun that takes up way to much of the cover. I wonder if the cover art lacked the budget to put fangs on the vampire so they just threw the sun in there. Good thick eyebrows though, I would gaze into those forehead caterpillars for hours. This cover is just so uninspired, a collection of images, slapped together. . . .oh look, this is another one of those full motion movie video games from the early to mid 1990’s, that explains everything. As a whole, covers to those style of game are stinko and this one is no exception.

The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang

Let’s just take this cover for what it is, a cover to a cutesy, colorful Super Nintendo Action RPG (wait, a colorful Super Nintedo Action RPG, I need to try this game) so we really cannot fault the goofy design of our little bloodsucker. Actually, I like Spike’s design, jaunty top hat, stripped vest, what looks like Reebok Pumps for shoes, all things that work well. It’s not the small garlic Goomba that I question, it’s the strange, purple pants wearing, white skinned Easter Island head creature. What is that thing? I am sure if I played the game it would make sense, but for now, I want to squash it’s stupid little head. Or suck it’s blood out till it’s an empty husk of a being, one of the two.

Castlevania

In my humble opinion, this is one of the best video game cover in the history of cart based artwork. It is so good that I have the game in a shadowbox, hanging up in my living room. Right there in the foreground we have out hero, Simon Belmont, looking buff, luscious locks of hair a-flowing and his might weapons, the whip “Vampire Killer,” whirling around, ready to kick some vampire butt. Simon is the anti-Mr. Weems. Looking up we have the castle of Dracula, daunting and evil, a great taste of the epic-ness of the journey you are about to engage in. Even the moon’s phase is a great choice, the crescent moon looking sharp and foreboding. I am in on this cover already and we yet to get to the Lord of all Vampires himself, Dracula.

Dracula looks fantastic on this cover, sharp and angular with the long ears, glowing eyes, deadly fangs with a singular drip of blood falling from his mouth. That is villain that both puts a little shiver down your spine and emboldens your resolve to put an end to his reign of evil. I can go on and on about this cover (even the C is Castlevania is great, etc) but really, just enjoy this one Retroist fans, it’s a classic.

The sun has risen and it is time to close the casket on this edition of Cart Art. If you have any comments and suggestions for Cart Art, please feel free to leave a comment or send me an email at OffisaPups@retroist.com. Next week, we take a look at. . . ummm. . . I do not really know as I could not find enough Frankenstein monster covers worthy of a Cart Art but I promise we will be back with something perfect for Halloween. Now if you excuse me, the stakes are sharpened, the holy water is bottled and the garlic is freshly peeled . . . it’s going to be a hot time in the old Transylvania town tonight.

OffisaPups

OffisaPups is a lover of fine retro gaming (video as well as board), classic comic strips and has a noggin filled with decades of television ads and song lyrics. Due to fears of a zombie apocalypse, do not approach OffisaPups while groaning, staggering with out-stretched arms, or requesting brains. Needless to say, OffisaPups has a very understanding and patient wife and a daughter who has no hope of a normal, non-dork upbringing.

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9 thoughts on “Cart Art Halloween Special: Vampires!

  1. vinvectrex says:

    Excellent finds! Bloodnet is truly astounding in how boring they manage to make vampires appear. And, I’ve never heard of Mr. Weems, but with a cover like that, I’m dying to know more. (sorry, couldn’t help myself)

  2. Atari Adventure Square says:

    I dunno if the Mr Weems has a Leisure Suit Larry vibe, but that would be great.
    (“Hey baby, nice fangs. Your coffin or mine?”)

    And the Bloodline headset-draculi is prepping for Twilight The Musical – and he’s furious about it!

    Also, I’ll add my vote for the Castlevania cover art being rather amazing and perfect wall poster material.

  3. OffisaPups says:

    Saddly Mr. Weems is a maze/shooter game. BTW, his gun is a garlic gun. Yeah, enjoy that.

    Alot of the early NES Konami covers are fantastic. . . in fact, that’s a good idea for a future cart art. . . hmmmmmm.

  4. How would a garlic gun even work? Like a potato gun? Does the gun kill or just repel the vampires? I just checked out screenshots and my eyes are still burning. That is some color pallet.

    This poses more questions then it answers.

  5. OffisaPups says:

    While I have no clue how said Garlic gun would work, I would like to have on in my kitchen. Making a little sauce. . .BLAM-O!. . a couple of rounds from the garlic gun and you are in flavor country.

  6. Hey, I just noticed something…on the Dracula Unleashed cover…the bottom half of the picture just below the sun, that is the mouth and body of Bela Lugosi from the 1931 film! Someone get the Lugosi estate on the horn, pronto!

    Great stuff as always, OffisaPups! :)

  7. OffisaPups says:

    I “got” a “copy” of the Twisted Tales of Spike McFang and gave it a play. If you are a fan of those action RPGS for the SNES like Secret of Mana or Secret of Evermore, I recomend you give it a shot.

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