Silent Service

There is a severe lack of simulations on Nintendo’s fantastic 8-bit machine. Some might say that its because of the limitations of the hardware (saying that, the terribly underpowered Wii has sold a fair amount of consoles in fact beating the sales of all the other current gen machines) but coders will make do with the power they have available.

Konami’s silent scope is not your dive in ultimate torpedo launching blitzkrieg menagerie of gameplay destruction, so before I get on with the more intricate details of this review I would like to tell you a little more about my history with this game:

Picture the scene. Its an early morning in Milton Keynes. Dew is glistening on the grass of the largest boot fair (thrift sale) for miles around and I am on the hunt for Red October…. sorry, not Red October I mean retro gaming bargains. I survey the melee of shoppers fighting over cheap household items, baby clothes and electrical items and I see a stall that I often frequent as it always has a great haul of retro goodness. So I slowly make my way to it, fighting off large bingo winged women, polish plumbers and the like till I arrive to see a crate full of fully boxed NES game “sweet!” I think to myself and after some expert haggling on my part I pay the originally conveyed price and walk off happy.

When finally home and after cleaning off ‘booters’ entrails from my car grill because of a particularly hectic exit from the car park I set to work at looking through my haul. With some great titles on offer I start to progress though them and finally ending up with ‘Silent service’ and I immediately think “this, this, this is the one I will next be reviewing on games(dot)”. I really wish I had played this game before I had decided that.

And here we arrive and I cannot procrastinate any longer… no more can I delve into my experiences of shopping… no longer stretching out the words till I fill my quota… never again to… ok ok I’ll get on with it:

Graphics: Erm… not much to say really, erm… there is a map screen and a periscope screen… erm they look, like, ok I guess?

Sound: No sound… seriously there is one (very short) loop that plays on the title screen and you get some audio feedback when launching torpedoes but apart from that, nothing to say.

Gameplay: Ok this is getting ridiculous. I cannot find any, there is nothing here to keep you playing. Even starting a level will take you 12 attempts to actually get in the water.

Ok that’s not all I have to say about this game but when you break it down like that there is not much to muse on. If you like your Nintendo’ing fast, frantic, furious and any other ‘F’ then don’t: play, buy or emulate this game. If you are patient and like a good sim then try the DOS version of this game or the 2nd in the series, its much better. If you want to simulate life aboard a submarine on the NES there are hours of… fun? no not fun… gameplay? no not gameplay either… there are hours of something in this game and you can tie yourself up for a while doing all that it has to offer.

Well after that terrible attempt at a review I guess I should score it. For all you action fans, this game would be a big fat zero but for all you patient types, its not a great sim but its not the worst sim you will ever play so i guess I should give it 3 stars. Its all just a bit ‘meh’ but its not as bad a Goonies 2.

Gameplay Video

peachy

Peachy is knee deep in old consoles and has approximately 450 items on his amazon wish-list. Questions?

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