¿Barney, Dónde están mis guijarros?

This week I discover what is actually Nuevo with Fiesta Fruity Pebbles. Will I find lost Incan gold? The Invisible Swordsman? The singing bush? Or a high sugar cereal with sprinkles? Find out on a new action packed edition of The Retroist!

I always have a fruity cereal in my cabinet. My two faves are Fruit Loops and Fruity Pebbles. Now Fruity Pebbles, packed with sugar and all the colors of the rainbow has always treated me well, but I have to admit recntly something has always been missing. The pebbles were just old..all played out.. even though they still gave me a dizzying rush, oddly colored stool and an uncomfortable tingling in my left arm, they just lacked something. If only my Fruity Pebbles were more festive. But what am I saying, it will be months until Christmas Pebbles show up in stores.

Perhaps they sell Christmas Pebbles all year long near the Arctic Circle? Of course I could hop a boxcar to the Yukon, dogsled by day and sleep in greenhouses at night until I got to Santa’s Workshop.

So thhat was the plan. It would work. It had to work.

While shopping for supplies for my journey I chanced down the cereal aisle of my local grocer and was dumbstruck. Of course! What a blind fool I was always looking to Santa to solve all my problems when the solution was right below me..or south of me. In lovely Mexico/South America (except Brazil).

That’s right, the clever folks at El Post have created…FIESTA FRUITY PEBBLES with Confetti Sprinkles. Not only does this revolutionize the stagnate edible Pebble market, but takes it up a notch with CONFETTI SPRINKLES! That’s right CON ADORNES DULCES! And the box is ORANGE. How awesome is that!

Check out this box:
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Fred and Barney are jamming. Barney is like El Mariachi, but instead of guns in his case he has giant Sprinkled Fruit Pebbles and Wilma and Betty look so happy!

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Now are you excited?! Can’t wait for the taste sensation! Those sprinkles must explode in your mouth like pop rocks. Only more caliente! I quickly poured myself one serving of cereal…

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WHAT!!! WHERE IS THE PARTY? NO SPRINKLES!

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Foul I call! Why would the good folks who speak Spanish attach their names to a bogus product. Fiesta Fruity Pebbles are a sham! I stormed off to my quiet room to sulk. Then an idea hit me.

I have known many a Spanish speaker and all were honorable and forthright. Perhaps the error was with me? I needed to do some excavating. I plunged my hand into the orange box and I dug deep down pulling all the pebbles from the box, reaching down to the very Bedrock (oh that’s rich) of the package.

Wait what’s this? I hit pay dirt or might I say, “pay gravel.” The sprinkles had detached themselves from their pebble brothers as they made the journey the trek into American. Let the party begin!

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Dare I injest pure sprinkles surely they will be like pure pebble packed with concentrated fruity goodness. Oh I dare.

Ewww. Tastes like stale Pebbles. Oh well. At least I get to send away for a cool bowl.

Adiós Amigos

Adiós Amigos

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Garry Vander Voort

Editor/Podcaster at Retroist
The Retroist is like a BBQ on a bun without the bones. You're only human daddy. Chomp!
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